


I Never Knew

by LizzzzzzBrandt (SpaceLions)



Category: Marianas Trench
Genre: F/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-19
Updated: 2012-02-19
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:00:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceLions/pseuds/LizzzzzzBrandt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when Josh Ramsay, Marianas Trench's lead singer, finds out his family has been keeping secrets from him? He finds out he has another sister on the other side of the country. When she meets the band, Ian starts to feel...different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Huh, Who Knew

Josh’s POV:

“Josh, can you get the door?” my mom, Corlynn, called to me when the doorbell rang.

I ran to the front door and swung it open. When I opened the door, there stood a man and a young girl, probably his daughter, who looked about 17 or 18. He was tall, had dark hair and brown eyes. He wore blue jeans and a regular t-shirt. She was a little on the shorter side, her short, dirty blonde hair was cut similar to mine, only a bit longer and poofier. She wore some long, baggy shorts and a white tank top with a blue pattern on it. Her blue eyes looked just like mine and appeared terribly nervous.

“Uh, hey, what’s up?” I asked them.

“Is Corlynn here?” the man asked.

“Mom, people here to see you,” I yelled into my house and I saw the girl’s eyes get wider and start to water.

My mom came around the corner and gasped as soon as she saw them. “Andrew, Jordan! What’re you…“she stopped in the doorway beside me and looked as if she was about to cry.

The girl, who I assumed was Jordan, started crying. She put her hands on her face and sobbed. Her dad put his hand on her back to try to comfort her. Then my mom started to cry. She reached out her arms to the girl and hugged her tight. The man looked at me with a solemn look in his eyes and looked back to his daughter.

“Um, does somebody want to fill me in on what’s going on here?” I asked.

My mom pulled out of the hug, put her hands on the girl’s tear streaked face and smiled at her and the girl smiled back. My mother put her arm around the girl and turned to me.

“Josh Ramsay, meet Jordan Matthews, your half sister.”

My stomach dropped. Why didn’t anyone tell me about her? Am I not important enough to know this? I could feel my eyes well up with tears. “W-what?” I looked at Jordan and her sobbing had quieted down a little. I looked back at my mother. “How come nobody told me?” I could feel the tears start running down my face. I felt so betrayed. I started to feel very nauseous and I could feel my knees begin to buckle. I steadied myself with one hand on the doorframe and put another on my stomach, as if trying to calm it down.

“Josh?” my mom stepped towards me and put her hands on my shoulders. I started to sway a little bit, my legs threatening to give out. “Miles! Come quick!” I could hear my mom calling my dad but I could no longer see what was happening.

I could feel myself falling then hitting the hardwood flooring of my parents’ lobby. I heard my dad run up to where I was then I couldn’t hear anything anymore either. I blacked out.

Jordan’s POV:

Two days earlier,

I sat outside on the porch steps of my father’s home with my headphones on, blasting Skrillex, as my dad sat on the bench behind me, on the phone with some lady named Corlynn. I stared up at the sky. It had already gotten dark and you could see the stars.

I’m Jordan, I’m 17 years old and my dad, Andrew, and I live alone in our country house just outside of Kenora, Ontario. I’ve never met my mother. My dad told me that shortly after I was born he and I had to leave my mother because the situation was complicated. He promised me that someday we’d go visit her, but that hasn’t happened yet. Often times my dad would send her my school pictures and a copy of my report card. He always told me it was important to keep in touch so that she didn’t sit and wonder, every day, how I was doing. I was her daughter after all. He would always ask me if I wanted to know more about her but I always declined. I was scared that if I knew more about her then I would want to go see her. I didn’t know if she had a family, I didn’t know if I had other siblings, but I was always afraid of what they would think of me.

I’ve had to change schools so many times because of teasing, bullying and general harassment. Kenora didn’t have many schools to choose from so I’ve been to schools in surrounding areas as well. Despite my constant shifting, my grades have always been great. My father has worked so hard to give me what I have so in return I’m going to work hard so he’ll be proud of me.

I saw a shooting star go by, took off my headphones and turned to my dad. “Make a wish,” I pointed to the sky and he smiled at me, still on the phone.

“Yeah, that was her,” he said to the woman on the phone.

They’re talking about me? I scanned our large yard for a moment, looking for my cat. “Jasper, here kitty,” I called out. From behind my car trotted out a very fluffy, orange cat. He walked up to me and sat down on my lap and purring instantly commenced. I stroked his soft back and stared out across the field.

“Yeah, I will yet,” my dad was still talking on the phone. “Alright, bye,” and he flipped his cell phone closed. “We should hit the hay, kiddo. It’s late.”

“Kay, can I bring Jasper inside tonight?” I asked, standing up with my cat thrown over my shoulder.

“Alright, just as long as he stays out of my room. He likes to sleep on my face,” my dad chuckled, scratching Jasper’s head.

“Thanks dad,” I said hugging him and going into the house.

***

The next morning I let Jasper out of the house and got myself a bowl of cereal. I was always up before my dad so I would go to the barn and check on the horse. I could hear my dad getting up as I finished my breakfast so I put out a bowl of Froot Loops for him. It was his favorite.

I put on my boots and headed out to the barn. “Good morning Lucy!” I greeted my lovely black and white horse. She was always happy to see me. After feeding her, cleaning out her stall and letting her out into the pasture to graze I went back into the house. My dad was just getting out the door to go to work.

“See you when I get off, kay Jordan?” he kissed me on the cheek and headed for his truck.

“Bye dad. Oh what should I make us for supper?”

“Uh, how ‘bout your spaghetti. I’ve always loved your spaghetti,” he climbed into his truck.

“Kay, see ya later,” and he drove off the yard and down the gravel road.

He knew spaghetti was my favorite. That meant he either had bad news or good news. After finishing up all my regular duties I showered, got dressed and decided to go to town. Maybe I’ll go to the library or the music store. Yeah that new Deadmau5 album came out the other day. I grabbed my wallet and drove to town in my little car. Now that I had graduated there wasn’t much for me to do in the day. I was off work for the week anyway so I didn’t have anything to do for a while. 

I picked up the new Deadmau5 album on my way to the library and stashed it under my seat. Once at the library, I went inside and found my favorite corner, pulled out a random book that looked somewhat interesting and started reading. After about half an hour I started to get hungry. I drove down to the nearest fast food place and got some fries and a shake. After that I went home and killed some time. Most of that time killing was just me dancing around ridiculously to my new Deadmau5 CD. I put it into the DVD player and blasted it through the surround sound.

Eventually I had to make supper for me and my dad so I started on that. The whole time I thought about what he could possibly have to tell me. I had just finished setting everything out on the table when I heard his truck pull up in front of the house. He walked inside and headed for the washroom to wash his hands.

“Hey, smells good in here,” he greeted me and came into the dining room. We both sat down across from each other and started eating. “So, um, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. Do you want to know more about your mom?”

I let out a deep breath and looked at my dad. “Why have you been pushing that so much lately?”

“Jordan, it’s important you know.”

“Alright, fine. Go ahead and tell me,” I was frustrated with him.

He put down his fork, went into the hall closet and got down a photo album I didn’t recognize. He pushed my food to the side and set the large book in front of me. I opened it and saw pictures of him and a short little lady hanging out like they were best buds. There was another man in the picture too. He appeared to be the lady’s boyfriend or husband or whatever.

“Ya know that lady I was talking to last night, Corlynn?” I nodded. “That’s her. She was my best friend all the way back from high school,” he pointed to the woman in the pictures.

“What does this have to do with anything?”

“We were at a party,” he ignored me. “This was after she had been married to this guy for a while,” he pointed to the other man. “We both had too much to drink and we…” he winced. “Her husband wasn’t very happy so when you were born, for their sake and yours, we left,” he stared at me, waiting for a response.

I was silent for a moment. “Oh, kay,” I looked up at my father, concern written all over his face, and then looked back at the pictures. “Where does she live?” I asked, seeing pictures of the coast line.

“Vancouver,” we were both quiet. “I have two plane tickets for Vancouver. The flight is for the day after tomorrow. Do you want to go?”

I stopped and thought for a moment. “Okay, I’ll go,” This was all moving so fast.

“You can change your mind anytime. I’m not forcing you.”

“I know. I’ll go.”

***

It was the morning of our flight. My dad and I got our things together and had a neighbor drive us to the airport. The neighbors would also be taking care of the yard and our animals while we were away so we wouldn’t have to worry. I had called my work place and told them that I’d be taking vacation for a little while and wasn’t sure when I was going to be back. They were pretty okay with it.

We handed over our bags and got through security and shortly after, boarded the plane. I slept half of the flight and stared out the window the other half. I started thinking about my mom and what she would be like. I thought about other possible siblings. I thought about a million different things on the plane ride.

“Jordan, get your stuff, we’re here,” my dad snapped me out of my day dreaming.

Once off the plane and out of the building we got to the car we had pre-arranged to pick us up and headed to the hotel we had booked. I got comfortable on a bed once we got there and pulled out a book.

My dad pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Miles, its Andrew,” Who’s Miles? “Jordan and I are in town. She wants to see her mother. Is that okay?” he listened for a few seconds. “How about right now?”

“Now? Oi,” I put my book away and sat up on the bed. I was starting to get worried at the lack of excitement I was feeling right now. Maybe it just hadn’t hit me yet.

“Kay, great. Thanks man, I appreciate it. Se you in ten,” and he hung up. “Alright, let’s go,” We headed out to the rental car and left for my mother’s house.

“Who’s Miles?”

“Her husband.”

“Oh,” and the rest of the drive was silent.

We pulled up to a lovely little, light yellow house. It was nice and you could definitely tell they took good care of their yard.

“This is it. Ready?” I could hear the distress in his voice. I nodded and we went to the door.

I reached out a finger to ring the doorbell and my hand was shaking uncontrollably. I pressed the button and waited. I could hear somebody yell and somebody run to the door. A young man opened the door. He had short black hair with blue pieces in it. He was even taller than my dad and had the same blue eyes I did.

“Uh, hey. What’s up?”

“Is Corlynn here?”

“Mom,” Oh shit, he’s my brother! I could feel the tears coming. “people here to see you.”

A woman came into view. She gasped when she saw me. I recognized her from my dad’s pictures, but here she looked older and she had silver hair. “Andrew, Jordan! What’re you…” she stood beside her son and looked so sad and happy at the same time.

Sure enough, I soon started bawling and trying to hide my face in my hands. I could feel my dad’s hand on my back. He was worried. I could hear somebody else start to cry and two dainty arms wrapped around me and held me close.

“Um, does somebody want to fill me in on what’s going on?” I could hear the boy ask.

My mom pulled out of the hug, put her hands on my face and smiled lovingly at me. I smiled back. She put her arm around my waist and turned to the boy.

“Josh Ramsay, meet Jordan Matthews, your half sister,”

I forced myself to keep a bit quieter as it sunk into him. His face got pale, his eyes started to water and he looked as if he’d been punched in the gut. “W-what?” he looked at me. This is what I was afraid of. He’s ashamed of me. I just know it. He looked back at our mother. “How come nobody told me?” he looked so hurt. He wasn’t ashamed, he just felt as though he wasn’t trusted. His knees began to shake and he supported himself on the doorframe and held his stomach as if about to hurl.

“Josh?” our mother grabbed his shoulders, trying to steady him. “Miles! Come quick!” and that’s when Josh fell and hit the ground.


	2. Getting To Know Us

Jordan’s POV:

A man, who I recognized from my dad’s photos as Miles, ran up to the boy lying on the ground and tried to wake him. He touched the boy’s face and called his name, “Josh! Corlynn, what happened?”

“He freaked out when I told him about Jordan and just fainted!” she replied. “Should we take him to the hospital?” she was crying again.

The man sighed. “No, he’ll be okay. Andrew, help me get him to his room,” At that, my dad stooped over and grabbed the boy’s legs and Miles grabbed him under the arms. They carried Josh to his room and lay him down on his bed.

“I’ll get some water for when he wakes up,” our mother ran out of the room and headed for the kitchen. Once she came back Josh had started to wake up.

“How’re you feeling pal?” his dad asked him as his eyes fluttered open.

“Hm…like I passed out.”

Miles chuckled. “Well, you did.”

He looked around for a moment and made eye contact with me. He didn’t look as hurt anymore. “Oh yeah,” His mom handed him the glass of water as he sat up. “Thanks mom.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you Josh, but we couldn’t,” Corlynn apologized to her son.

“Why? Wouldn’t have hurt anybody to tell me.”

“We knew that if we told you, you’d want to find her and her dad felt it best to tell her when she was ready to meet us,” Miles explained.

“Do my other sisters know?” Josh asked his mother with a little harshness in his tone.

“Yes, your sisters know.”

I have more siblings?!

“What the hell?” Now Josh looked hurt again. “Why was I the only one who didn’t know? Oh and how did this even happen?” you could hear the pain in his voice.

Corlynn looked at my dad, her husband and me. “Can you guys go to the living room so I can talk to him?” It was less of a question and more of a command.

We all went into their living area and sat down. It was nice, calm, relaxing and warm. You could faintly hear my new found mother telling my brother, whose existence I was unaware of, about me. After a moment of silence you could hear Josh yelling about where his wildness came from.

After a minute of awkwardness from sitting in a room with my father and my step-father, Josh and my mother came walking into the room, Josh still looking a bit pale.

Our mother sat down beside me and Josh stood uncomfortably in the entrance to the room. “I’m going to the apartment for a while,” he said turning around and walking towards the door.

“Will you be back for supper?” his mom asked and he nodded. “Do you two want to stay for supper?”

“Yeah, might as well get to know Jordan a bit better. She is family after all,” Miles agreed. His wife smiled at him.

“Sure. What do you think, Jordan?” my father wanted to make sure I was okay with this. I nodded.

“You are a quiet one aren’t you,” Miles started talking to me. “You’ll loosen up after a while. Its family game night,” he gave us a mischievous smirk.

“Oh, crap. Miles, are you serious? This isn’t going to get violent this time, will it?” my dad said, slightly alarmed.

“Maaaybee,”

“Miles!” my mother yelled.

“Yes dear.”

“What are you guys talking about?” I asked

“It’s nothing,” my father answered.

“Phf,” I crossed my arms across my chest and pouted slightly.

Josh’s POV:

“Dude, calm down,” my best friend, Matt, tried to get me to stop freaking out.

“Dude! I have a little sister! And she’s only half my sister!”

“C’mon man, sisters are fun. You’re a big bro! This is exciting!” Ian said from the couch.

“Agh, I guess so, but I’m still pissed that nobody told me!”

“Yeah we understand that, but you gotta man up and take care of your little sister. Hey, bring her with us on tour!” Mike was trying to get all deep again and then ruined it with a random thought.

“Yeah! That’d be fun,” Matt approved. Ian just nodded.

“How’re we gonna take care of a 17 year old girl?” I inquired.

“More like how is she gonna take care of us,” Ian said.

“Yeah, she’s a big girl. She’ll have a great time,” Mike continued to ramble.

Just then, my phone rang. The caller ID showed Home so I picked it up. “Yeah,”

“Food should be ready soon. We made lots so bring the guys,” and my dad hung up.

I put my phone back in my pocket. “You guys want food?”

Jordan’s POV:

“Oh, the boys are here!” my mother said running into the room.

We could hear lots of noise from outside and then four, hungry, young men burst through the door. One of them with dark brown hair and a mohawk ran up to me and gave me a big hug, lifting me up off the ground.

“You must be Jordan!”

“If I say no will you put me down?” They laughed at my question.

He set me down and ruffled my hair. “I’m Mike, and this is Ian,” he said pointing to the boy with the light brown, mini afro. “and this is Matt,” he pointed to the stocky looking guy with the short, brown hair. They both waved to me and I waved back.

Miles came into the room with a huge grin on his face. “Okay guys, plate up,” and as soon as those words were spoken, Josh’s friends ran into the kitchen.

Josh and I walked in together, both of us silent. We all got our food on our plates and found a spot at their large dining table. Most of dinner was fairly loud. Everybody was talking to each other and occasionally somebody would ask me a question and start a little conversation. Josh sat beside me and didn’t say a word the entire time.

“Okay who wants to play charades?” Miles asked us. Josh groaned. “I know its lame, but it can be fun!”

“I’ll play!” Ian said excitedly. “Jordan, Josh and Miles are on my team!”

“Hey, who says you get to pick the teams?” Mike looked rather annoyed.

“Fine, you can pick teams next time,” Ian tried to compromise.

“Fine!”

“Fine!” they playfully yelled at each other.

“Can we just get this over with?” Josh didn’t sound very happy but I didn’t blame him.

Ian’s POV:

“Catfish!” Jordan yelled as I acted out something in the middle of the living room.

“Yes! Thank you!”

“Aw come on, man! How were we supposed to get that one?” Josh complained. At least he wasn’t so pouty anymore.

“Ugh, guys I’m tired. I’m going home,” Mike got up and started for the door.

Miles yawned. “Yeah it’s getting late. I think it’s time to call it a day.”

“Bye guys,” Matt said as he and Mike walked out the door.

“I’ll see you guys later,” I said on my way out, waving to Josh’s family. As I drove home, I thought about how lucky Josh is to have a great family. Today was fun. I had to admit, Jordan was definitely Josh’s sister. She was like the female version of him. Although I was kind of attracted to her so that was a little weird.

Once I got home my dog was there to greet me. She always got super excited whenever I came home. I gave her a little snack and went to bed.

Josh’s POV:

“Josh, are you going home or staying here tonight?” my mother asked me.

“Uh, I’ll just go back to the apartment,”

“Oh Josh, before you go, how is the tour planning coming?” my dad questioned. He was always curious about my music.

“Almost done. We just have to get a new bus and we’re good to go.”

“When do you leave?” mom quizzed me.

“Three days,” I answered.

“Tour?” I forgot Jordan was here.

I jumped. “Yeah the guys and I are in a band.”

“That’s really cool.”

Ya know maybe she’ll grow on me. She seems like a lot of fun so far. “Thanks.”

“C’mon Jordan, we should go back to the hotel,” Andrew called to his daughter as he walked towards the door.

“Kay, coming.”

“Hey, what hotel are you guys at?” I asked before they left.

“Uh, the Metropolitan on Howe street,” Jordan’s dad said.

“Alright, Jordan you wanna hang out with me and the guys tomorrow?” I figured I’d take Mike’s advice and act like a brother.

She smiled. “Yeah, sure.”

“See ya at around ten-ish,” she waved and they went out the door and drove off.

My mom came up to me and gave me a bear hug. “Thank you, Josh. I’m proud of you.”

“For?” I chuckled.

“For not being mad at her and being a good brother,”

“Well, I try.”

My dad laughed. “Sure ya do.”

“Going home now! Bye!” I yelled, walking out the door.

“Ha-ha, bye”

***

I walked into the hotel and headed straight for the front desk. “I’m looking for Andrew Mathews.”

He looked at his computer and back at me. “Room 204,” he pointed to the elevator.

“Thanks man,” I patted the guy’s shoulder just to piss him off a bit.

I got into the elevator and headed for the second floor. Once the doors opened I saw 204 on the door directly across the hall. I leaped across and started wailing on the door. It swung open and Jordan stood there, eyebrow raised, backpack in hand.

“Ready to go?”

“Yup. What’re we doing?”

“You’re gonna come with us to get our tour bus and then we’re just gonna drive around and look for something to do,”

“Oookay,” she looked a little confused.

“What’s the backpack for anyway?” I pointed to the bag in her hand.

“To keep me occupied if you guys get boring,” she smirked.

I laughed. “Why, sister, do you have such low expectations for us?”

“Let’s just go. Bye dad,” she called back into the room.

“Bye, see ya later,” you could hear Andrew reply from somewhere in the room.

She closed the door behind her and we went to the elevator. Once we had climbed into the back of the van Mike immediately pulled her into a big hug like yesterday.

“We missed yoooouuuu!” Ian said from the very back seat.

“Ha-ha, can you let me go now please?”

Mike let go of my sister and we got buckled in. The driver already knew where the RV place was so he started the van up and took off.

I sat beside Jordan and she turned to me and whispered, “You have a driver?”

“We are just that awesome,” Matt whispered back.

“Hey, Nat, pop in Masterpiece Theatre,” Mike requested to our driver.

Jordan looked incredibly confused so I explained. “Our second album.”

“So you guys are big time, huh?” she looked at me with admiration.

“Hell yes!” Ian yelled.

Nat put the CD in and pressed play. “All to Myself,” I said as I reached forward and pressed the skip button.

As the song started, you could see Jordan’s eyes get wider and a massive smile spread across her face. She did a little fangirl squee and flailed about. “This is amazing you guys!”

“Dude, she is so your sister,” Mike said.

“Jordan,” she turned to look at me as I spoke. “Are you into music at all?”

“I mostly listen to techno stuff but I play the guitar. I’d love to do some DJ type stuff.”

Nat stopped the van after a few minutes of driving and shut if off. “This is the place.”

“Well then open the door for us boy! We’re fucking rock stars!” I joked around with him.

“Open your own fucking door you fucking rock star!” he played along, climbing out of the van and walking away.

I yelled as loud as I could so he’d hear me, “Well! How dare you speak to a fucking rock star that way!” I put extra emphasis on the fucking.

Jordan laughed, ripping her seatbelt off, climbing over my legs and opening the door. She jumped out and slammed the door shut.

I put on a hurt face. “Insolent boy!”

She yelled back. “I’m a girl!”

“Insolent girl!”

We all laughed and got out of the vehicle. I put my arms around my sister and gave her a hug. “This is what happens when you get Josh Ramsay for a brother.”

She chuckled. “Well it’s better than having a boring brother.”

My phone started to ring. The caller ID, again, said Home and I picked it up. “Hi mommy!” My mom and friends all laughed at me.

“How did you know it wasn’t your father?” she questioned.

“I didn’t.”

She laughed some more. “You’re getting the RV now right?”

“Yes mommy,” a lady who walked past me gave me a funny look.

“Did you sleep well last night?” she sounded a little concerned. She knew my insomnia was pretty bad.

“Yeah, actually I did,”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Ha-ha, alright. Have fun with your sister today, okay? And be nice,” she told me.

“Oh come on. When am I not nice?”

“A minute ago,” Nat said from a few feet away.

I flipped him the bird. “Bye mommy!”

She continued to laugh. “Bye sweetie,” she hung up.

I put my phone away and continued to walk with my friends towards the RV dealership.


	3. What the Hell Just Happened?

Josh’s POV:

“How about this one?” Ian asked as we looked through the millionth bus today.

“No there’s not enough room. What about that one over there?” Mike pointed to a large RV not much farther away.

“Too much space,” Ian complained.

“Guys!” we heard Jordan call us from somewhere. “Check this out.”

We pinpointed her location and entered the RV she had found. Our jaws dropped and I’m pretty sure Ian started to cry. It was perfect. It had a nice TV with a decent sized couch for us, bunks for everybody and plenty of space for eating, cooking and hanging out.

“Ian, are you crying?” I heard Matt accuse from behind me.

We all turned to Ian as he wiped his eyes and we laughed loudly at him.

“No! There’s something in my eye!”

“Sure there is,” Jordan said sarcastically.

“Hey! Who works here?” I yelled out the door.

A man came rushing up to me and came into the RV. “How may I help you?”

“How much is this beast?” I asked him.

“Ah, this is a lovely unit, isn’t it?”

“Yes, now answer the question!” Ian was still in tears.

He cleared his throat. “Two hundred thousand.”

Ian cried harder now. “Oh Lord, why?” he almost screamed at the sky. We laughed at him some more.

“Good enough. Nat! Come here!” I called.

Nat came running up to the RV mumbling. “This one?”

“Yup, let John know.”

“Alright, you guys can go wait in the van for a bit then.”

“Okay,” I picked Jordan up, throwing her over my shoulder, despite her protest, and took off running. The others followed.

“Josh! What the hell?!”

“Ha-ha, relax. I won’t drop you.”

We ran past the woman who had given me the weird look earlier and she gave us an even weirder look this time. Once we reached the van, Ian close behind us, I pondered for a moment as to how to open the door while holding Jordan.

“Ian, hold her for a sec,” I said handing her over to him. Actually, it’s more like I threw her at him.

“Oof!” Ian said as my little sister landed in his arms.

Ian’s POV:

My heart was pounding. I knew Jordan could hear it seeing as her head was right by my chest as I cradled her awkwardly in my arms.

“I have legs you know, Josh,” she said.

“Do you want me to put you down?” I asked.

She turned to me to answer but Josh grabbed her out of my arms and clambered into the, now open, vehicle. He sat her in the middle seat right in the back and took a seat beside her. I sighed and scrambled in beside Jordan. Matt and Mike came into view and also got into the vehicle.

“Nat’s writing out a cheque and calling somebody to pick it up,” Matt said, sitting down.

“Alright!” I said with an exited tone. There was silence for a moment. “Now what?”

Josh tapped his chin with a finger, thinking about where to go next. He turned to us. “We should go to the studio and just play around a bit. Whataya think? It’ll be fun!”

Matt, Mike and I sang a chorus of yeses. We spun around to see Jordan, who looked a little like she wasn’t sure what to do. We waited for her answer.

“Sure, sounds like it’d be lots of fun,” she smiled.

Nat opened the driver’s side door and hopped in. “Okay guys, where we going?”

“To the studio!” Josh said dramatically, pointing a finger to the sky.

“What do you want there?” he looked confused.

Josh’s head snapped back to look at Nat, still pointing at nothing. “Do not question me boy! Just go!”

“Ugh, fucking rock stars,” Nat moaned sarcastically and chuckled.

Jordan’s POV:

Upon arriving at the music studio, the boys gave me the grand tour of the place. It was amazing. I could get used to this stuff, that’s for sure.

“Alright,” Josh led us to one of the recording rooms. “Let’s kick out the jams!”

I giggled. “Wayne Kramer.”

“Yes!” Mike threw his arms in the air in triumph. “I love this girl!” he wrapped his arms around me in yet another hug.

Once Mike released me, Matt handed me a guitar. “Here, show us what you got!”

“Aw, I dunno. Maybe I should just go sit over there and not make a fool of myself.”

“Nonsense, sister! Play for us. Ian and Mike will help you,” Josh took the guitar and hung it around my shoulders and guided me to the sound booth.

He hooked up the guitar and Mike and Ian got all set up. Ian started pounding on the drums to give me a beat to work off of. It was perfect for a song I wrote so I figured I’d give them a taste of what I was capable of.

I started playing some chords from my song and Mike joined in. I saw Matt through the window, watching me, jaw dropped and in pure awe. He turned to Josh, who was sitting in front of the sound board pushing buttons and switches. Matt said something to my brother and Josh nodded. I continued to play and when the song was over I put down the guitar and left the booth.

Josh’s POV:

As soon as my sister started to play the guitar and bobbed her head to the beat, I saw myself. She was my sister alright. There was no doubt about that. Right when Ian started, I began recording. There was no way I was gonna pass up this opportunity. I knew she was going to do great and I was definitely right.

Matt looked at me. “You getting this?”

I nodded to him and continued with the task at hand. Her song was awesome. I could hardly believe that she was this good. She didn’t look like they rocker type at all. Either way, this was a good song. She had potential.

After a couple minutes, the song ended and she put down the guitar and casually walked out of the sound booth.

“That was…awesome,” Matt was almost at a loss for words.

“Did you write that?” I asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“Are there lyrics to go along with that?” I must have given her a mischievous smirk because her eyes widened.

“Oh no! No, no, no, no, no!”

“Oh, come on! Please?” Mike came out of the booth and pleaded with her. He gave her the puppy dog face. He was a genius at that.

“Ugh, fine! I’ll do it,” she gave in. She pulled out a notebook from her backpack, flipped to a page titled After All and trudged back into the booth. I followed her so I could set up the mic. Once everything was set up I gave her the headphones and headed for the door. “Josh, can you do it for me? I don’t feel comfortable singing in front of people,” she gestured toward the others.

I looked at her face and walked back to her. I hugged her tight. “Will you try it at least? If you really don’t want to do it you don’t have to.”

She was quiet for a second, considering. “I’ll try.”

“Oh, I know. Ian, come here,” I said setting up a second microphone. “Sing with her,” I said as he came into the room.

“Uh, sure. I don’t know the melody though.”

“Jordan, could you go over it with him real quick?” I asked.

“Sure,” she nodded.

I left them alone in the booth, closing the door behind me, and sat down in front of the sound board. I could hear them going over the tune as I turned the microphones on. “Ready?” I said over the intercom.

“Uh, yeah I think I got it. Let’s go,” Ian said and Jordan nodded again.

They put on their headphones and I started it up.

Ian’s POV:

Josh started the music and I started to sing the first part of the song. I started off quietly.

“After all I’ve done and you shun me,

After all I’ve done and you treat me this way,

I comforted you when you were sad,

I made you laugh when you were down,”

I started really getting into it at this point and belted out notes loudly.

“Who cares about the one thing I said,

I made a mistake,

I’m sorry,”

Jordan started to sing with me and her voice blew me away. It was so strong yet so gentle. We sang the chorus together.

“After all, we were so in love,

You shied away and left me in the cold,

After all, I made promises I couldn’t keep,

I don’t blame you for leaving me,”

Now it was her turn to sing solo. She sounded amazing. Who knew such a small girl had such a big voice.

“After all I’ve done and you hurt me,

After all we’ve been through and turn your back,

I loved you with all my heart even when you put that hole in my wall,

I didn’t care if you played games all day,

“Who cares about the one thing I said,

I made a mistake,

I’m sorry,”

Now we sang together again. Our voices mingled with one another in a beautiful way.

“After all, we were so in love,

You shied away and left me in the cold,

After all, I made promises I couldn’t keep,

I don’t blame you for leaving me,”

Jordan’s powerful voice boomed and we took turn with the last few lines.

I sang first. “After all I’ve done and you don’t listen,”

“After all I’ve done and you ignore me,”

“I just wanna say to you baby,”

“I never got the chance to let you know,”

Then we sang the last line in harmony. “After all, I love you,”

The song was over and we took off the headphones. Josh, Matt and Mike were on the other side of the window applauding and I saw Josh’s eyes water with pride. We exited the sound booth together and were welcomed with hugs and praise.

“That was amazing!” Josh yelled, hugging his sister hugely.

“I’d say,” said a voice from the door way. We turned to see Jonathan Simkin, our manager, standing there.

“Oh, hey Jon. How long you been there?” I asked.

“Long enough to hear some fresh, new talent. I can tell you haven’t done this before, my dear,” he said to Jordan.

“Yeah well this is all completely new to me.”

“Tell me, what’s your name and where did you come from?” he asked.

Josh spoke up, putting his arm around her. “This is my sister, Jordan.”

Jon paused and looked back and forth from Jordan and Josh. “Why didn’t you tell me about her!? She’s awesome!” he said rather loudly.

Josh laughed. “Cause I only found out yesterday,” There was some dead air, and then Josh spoke again. “She’s my half sister from Ontario.”

“Well…that makes sense. Hit playback, man! I have to hear this!” Jonathan said.

We all got comfortable in the room and Josh did a little mixing before hitting play. He had his headphones on so we couldn’t hear until he was finished. He removed his headphones and pressed the play button. Jon listened to the track and his eyes got bigger and he looked to the small girl, who I had somehow gotten my arm around. He looked stunned. She smiled, blushed and pressed herself closer to me.

“Oh, wow.”

“I know right?” Josh said, looking at Jonathan’s expression.

“Josh, quick, put that onto a disk for me!” he requested.

Josh looked slightly confused as he did so. “Uh, sure. Why?”

Jonathan grabbed the disk from Josh as he handed it to him. “Because I know somebody at 604 that’ll love this!” and with that he was out the door.

Jordan’s POV:

I was confused. What did he mean by that? “Uh, Josh, what’s going on?”

“Ya know, I’m not entirely sure, ha-ha.”

“I think you might get a record deal, kid!” Mike ruffled my hair.

“I-I’m … what?” I stuttered.

“Cooool!” Ian said. I could feel the vibrations of his voice as I leaned against him. “I’m on your first track!” he smiled at me. I smiled back.

Just then Josh’s phone rang. “It’s Jon,” he said, reading the caller ID. “Where are you? … He did?! ……. Now? … Alright, we’ll be right up,” he hung up. “Chad wants to talk.”

“Kroeger?” Ian asked.

“Yeah. He wants us to come upstairs right away to see her,” my brother informed us.

“Well then, let’s go!” Ian yelled, scooping me up and running out of the room.

“Ack, not again!” I complained, bouncing around in Ian’s arms as he ran up the stairs.

Once we got to the top, the others were already waiting for us. “Elevator?” Ian huffed, tired from running up the stairs holding me.

“Yup!” Mike beamed.

“Right over here, guys!” Jonathan called, poking his head out of an office door and quickly going back into the room.

Ian put me down and we all walked toward the door. Josh opened the door for me and I entered the room.

“You must be Jordan,” said a man with short, dirty blonde hair and a short beard.


	4. Holy Crap

Jordan’s POV:

I nodded shyly and walked a little closer. The boys were at my sides and sat down with me by the man’s desk.

“Alright, I have a proposition for you.”

Josh cleared his throat. “I am taking it upon myself to be her advisor so you gotta tell me what’s going on too. Nothing gets past me.”

The man who I assumed was Chad, as it said on his desk, looked at Josh with an eyebrow raised. “Okay Joshy,” Josh snorted at what he had called him. “Jordan, I would love to welcome you to the Six Oh Four team. Whadaya think?”

I looked up at Josh, who stood beside me, to see his reaction. He thought for a moment. “What are we talkin here?”

“How about…” he leaned back in his chair and stroked his beard. “Same thing you guys get. I think that sounds fitting.”

“Can she come with us on tour?!” Ian asked excitedly.

Chad chuckled. “Sure. Now let’s sign some papers!”

“Wait!” they all stopped to look at me. “Can I call my dad first?”

Everybody was quiet then Chad spoke. “Yeah that would be important. How old are you anyway?”

“Um, I’m seventeen and a half,”

“Yeah, you should call your dad,”

I took my phone out of my pocket and dialed my dad’s cell number. It rang a few times and then he picked up. “Hey, what’s up?”

“You’ll never believe what is happening.”

Josh’s POV:

After Andrew had been informed, he came down to the building and talked to Chad for a bit about Jordan. They ended up deciding that Jordan would be signed once she was eighteen and had a little more performance experience, which was perfect seeing as we were bringing her on tour with us.

There was only one day left until we leave for our tour. Everybody was super excited, especially Ian.

“This is gonna be the best tour yet! I can’t wait,” he kept repeating all day as we got ready to leave.

Jordan had been practicing with us like crazy. We did some of our songs and then we did some of hers. We were all packed and ready and figured a little more practice couldn’t hurt. We practiced in my parents’ garage seeing as we couldn’t book any rehearsal space. All Jordan’s songs were pretty awesome and she loved our songs.

“Hey, I like that one!” she said from the couch on the other side of the garage.

“Wanna sing one for us?” I asked, holding the microphone out to her.

“But I don’t know any.”

“I’ll give you the lyrics and go over the tune with you really fast,” I pulled out lyrics sheets for Say Anything and gave them to her with the microphone.

I showed her the melody for the song and she picked it up quickly. “Okay, I got it,”

“Alright, let’s rock!” I yelled loudly and enthusiastically.

We played the song with gusto and she sang at the top of her voice. We had lots of fun playing the song. I was glad Jordan was coming with us. This was a good chance for us to bond and get to know each other better. Plus Matt, Mike and I were suspicious that Ian had a crush on my little sister.

After the song ended and we started cleaning up, tired of practicing, I saw Ian talking to Jordan. You could tell he was trying to make her laugh. He joked around a bit and started showing off. Everytime Jordan smiled, he smiled back. I was a little uneasy about it, but I trusted Ian. I knew he wouldn’t try to hurt her or anything. I just hoped that they’d play it safe and not do anything too crazy.

Ian’s POV:

“Pomegranate!” I shouted.

Jordan laughed at my joke. “What’s with you and pomegranates?”

“It’s always the punch line.”

She looked at me with a confused expression. “What?”

“Ha-ha, long story.”

“Not really,” Matt yelled from the other room.

“Shut up, Matthew!” I screamed back.

“I shall not be silenced!” Matt poked his head through the doorway and shrieked.

Jordan laughed at us and walked away. Matt and I looked at each other with puzzled looks. “Look what you did, Matt! You scared her away,” I said.

“My dad always told me, if somebody weirds you out, laugh and walk away,” she shouted from Josh’s side, helping him put the microphones away.

Mike ran up to her and bear hugged her again. “Get used to it girlie,” We all laughed.

“Oof, Mike put me down!” she asked and we heard a car horn.

“Jordan, your dads here,” Corlynn yelled from inside the house.

“Alright see you guys tomorrow,” she grabbed her backpack and Josh opened the garage door.

“We’ll meet up here and leave around noon, okay?” Josh reminded his sister.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Bye,” she hugged her brother and ran out to her father’s rental car. We waved to her as they drove off.

The guys all turned to me with accusatory faces and gathered around me, arms crossed. “What? What did I do?”

“We know, Ian,” Mike said.

“Um, what do you know exactly?” I asked them.

“You’ve got a crush on Jordan,” Matt sang and made kissy faces at me.

“Phf, you’re crazy.”

“Ian,” Josh put his arm around my shoulders and we walked to look out the open garage door. “I don’t care if you like her. In fact I think it’s great, just make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Don’t hurt her.”

“I’m not going to hurt her, or at least not on purpose.”

“So you admit it!” Matt yelled, pointing at me dramatically.

“I admit nothing,” I said calmly.

“C’mon guys, we gotta bring all the gear to the RV and load it up,” Josh said, holding two guitars and an amp, clearly struggling. We jogged over to him to help.

Jordan’s POV:

“Bye dad. I’ll miss you,” I hugged my dad tightly one last time before we headed out to start the tour.

“I’ll miss you too. Have fun and behave.”

I laughed. “I will,” Corlynn rushed up to me and hugged me tight. “Bye mom,” I’ve never been able to call somebody my mom before so this was really awesome for me.

“Bye sweetie!” she said to me. Then when she released me she ran over to each of the boys and gave them hugs too.

“See ya later kiddo,” Miles gave me a hesitant hug.

“Bye.”

Once we had all said our goodbyes we got onto the tour bus and waved to our family. As we drove away and we could no longer see them we got comfortable and attempted to occupy ourselves with random stuff. Matt and Mike played Monopoly, trying to keep the pieces on the board as the RV bounced around. Josh, Ian and I played Eye Spy.

“I spy a …” I looked out the window, searching for something. “Yellow car!” I yelled and punched my brother in the shoulder.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“Ha-ha, have you never played Yellow Car before?”

“No, what the hell is that?”

“If you see a yellow car, call it out and if you don’t wanna get punched, yell safety. It’s really quite simple,” I instructed him.

“So far I don’t like this game.”

Ian laughed. “I do. Yellow car!” he saw a car outside and yelled.

“Safety!” I shouted in order to save myself from harm.

Ian hit Josh before he had the chance to say anything. “Ow!” he hit Ian back.

“Josh, rule violation!”

“The rules say I can’t punch him back but that doesn’t mean I won’t do it.”

“True.”

“Ah, dammit!” Matt yelled as we hit a bump and Monopoly pieces flew everywhere.

“Ha-ha, aw, poor Matty!” I said in a baby voice as Matt picked up all the pieces and threw them at the board.

He scowled at me sarcastically. “Why don’t you help me then?”

We all got on our hands and knees and searched the floor for the game pieces. It took us about ten minutes until we found them all but even then we weren’t sure if we had them all. I scooted in beside Mike, Ian sat beside me and Josh sat beside Matt on the other side.

“Can I play too?” I asked Matt and Mike, putting on a cutesy face.

“Of course you can,” Mike hugged me for the millionth time.

“Me too?” Ian attempted to imitate my facial expression.

“No. Ian, you cannot play Monopoly with us. Go to your corner!” Matt commanded, pointing to a random part of the bus.

“Oh,” Ian sulked away. We laughed at him as he climbed into one of the bunk beds and pretended to cry.

“Ha-ha, get over here, man. You can be the dog,” Josh called.

Ian poked his head out and had a huge, sarcastic smile on. “Aw, but I wanted to be the dog,” Matt complained.

“You can be the car,” Josh handed him the car piece. Matt pouted and played with it.

“What about me?” I asked. “What do I get to be?”

“You can be the boot,”

“Cool!” the guys laughed at my cynical remark.

“Mike, you’re the iron and I’m the thimble,”

We heard laughing coming from the front of the RV. “I love working for you guys,” Nat said.

“Eyes on the road!” Josh yelled at the driver.

I laughed. “Let’s just play.”

We sat at the semi-circle shaped table for hours playing that board game. Eventually Mike ended up winning. By that time I had gotten bored and found something else to do. I sat on my bunk, ear buds in, writing a new song.

“Whatcha doin?” Ian asked, jumping into my bunk beside me and slinking his arm around my shoulders.

I hid the notebook quickly from him. “You’re not allowed to see ‘til it’s done.”

“Fine. What are you listening to anyway?” he pulled one of my ear buds out and listened.

I was playing Wretches and Kings by Linkin Park. “I’m not sure you’ll like it that much,” I told him.

“Are you kidding me?” he bobbed his head to the beat. “This is awesome!”

“What’s awesome?” Josh poked his head into my bunk.

“This song,” Ian said, talking my iPod and plugging it into the RV’s sound system.

The guys all started bouncing around to the beat of the music and Mike started dancing. He wasn’t that bad at it either.

“The bass is aamaaazing!” Mike shouted over the music.

Josh pulled his phone out again and gestured for Ian to turn the music down. The music stopped but Mike kept dancing. We laughed at him and his silly dance.

Josh picked up his phone. “Hey man, what’s up? ... Yeah she is, why? … Yeah sure. Sounds great, she’ll be so excited. … Do you want to talk to her? … Alright,” he handed me the phone.

“Who is it?” I mouthed the words.

“You’ll see,” he answered.

“Um, hello?” I said into the phone.

“Hi, Jordan? This is Sonny Moore.”

I covered the microphone on Josh’s cell and held back a shriek. Skrillex wants to talk to me! I think at that moment my brain just about imploded. I uncovered the mouth piece and spoke. “Oh, hey,” I tried to keep my cool.

The guys giggled at me and Josh imitated my facial expression. I flipped them off and listened to Sonny speak.

“I heard you’re a fan of mine and Josh told me you’re interested in DJ-ing. I’m going to be in Edmonton the same time you guys are gonna be and I’d love to meet you. Maybe I can put you on one of my tracks. I heard your song and it’s amazing.”

“Really?!” I said with a little more squeak in my voice than I intended.

“Ha-ha, yeah!”

“That sounds awesome!”

“I thought you might think so,” he chuckled. “See you then. Bye, Jordan,”

“Bye,” I flipped my brother’s phone closed and handed it back to him. I shrieked and Nat swerved, startled from my loud noise. “Ha-ha, I’m sorry Nat.”

“I-It’s okay,” he stuttered. We all chuckled at him.

“So, how much longer until we get to Edmonton?” I asked.

“Should be two hours now,” Nat answered me.

I flailed my arms around and squeed. “Yay!”

“We’re only meeting Sonny tomorrow though. Today we’re going to have to buy you some stuff. You simply can’t live off what you brought from home,” Josh said in a motherly tone.

“Hmf, fine,” I crossed my arms across my chest and pouted.

“This’ll make you feel better!” Ian said, turning the music back up.

We then all spontaneously broke into dance. Mike continued his earlier jig and Josh and Matt started head banging. Ian lifted me up, set me on his shoulders and we imitated Josh and Matt.

Nat stopped the RV and took off his seat belt. “I’m gonna fill ‘er up. You guys want any snacks or something?”

“Yes!” Mike yelled.

“Get it yourself, you fucking rock stars, you.”

“How dare you speak to us that way!” Josh and I yelled at the same time.

We looked at each other, astonished. Matt laughed. “You guys are definitely related.”

Josh pulled a credit card out of his pocket and opened the RV door. “Well, let’s go. It’s on Six Oh Four,” he grinned mischievously.

I got down from Ian’s shoulders and leaped out the door, past Josh. I ran towards the convenience store and Ian grabbed me, throwing me over his shoulder and slowing to a walk.

“Oh, not this again!” I complained.

Ian chuckled, opening the door to the store and going inside. He got some strange looks from the people working there. “Jordan, what do you want for a snack?” 

“Put me down and let me look for something,” I requested.

He sighed. “Fine, but I’m holding your hand so you don’t get lost,” he put me down on my feet and touched my hand with his fingers and I automatically grasped his hand.

“Alright, silly boy,” I laughed.

“Only on Fridays,” he smiled.

“It’s Tuesday.”

“Exactly.”

I sighed, facepalmed and walked toward the chips, taking Ian with me.


	5. First Performance

Josh’s POV:

I walked into the store with Matt and Mike and headed straight for the chocolate bars. I saw Ian and my sister looking at the chips, holding hands none the less.

“I knew it! I was right!” I yelled, pointing to the two of them.

They both jumped, spinning around and letting go of each other’s hands. “What are you shouting about?” Ian asked.

I snorted at them. “You two are soo oblivious!” I threw my arms up in frustration and continued on my way to the chocolate bars. I picked up a couple of cookies and cream bars and pulled a Coke Zero out of one of the coolers.

Once we had all gotten out snacks we paid for them and the gas and made our way back to the bus. We all sat in the RV eating our snacks and making small talk. Jordan was quiet until we got to Edmonton.

“So what now?” she asked as we passed the Welcome to Edmonton sign.

“We’re going to the mall to buy you some rockstar clothes and a new guitar,” I smiled at her.

“B-but I have a guitar. What’s wrong with the one I have?”

“For one, you left it at home and we won’t be in that area until a bit later, and two, you need a real pro guitar. I know this one place where they have amazing guitars,” I said.

“Aw, alright.”

“Don’t complain. You’re getting a free guitar!” Matt exclaimed.

“Ha-ha, I’m not complaining,” she protested.

Once we arrived at the West Edmonton Mall and Nat had parked we jumped out the door and ran for the front doors. We didn’t have any problems with fans until we got inside.

I heard a shriek coming from behind us as we started walking down the hall. “It’s Marianas Trench!!” some girl screamed.

“Oh shit,” I said, throwing my sister over my shoulder again and taking off in a run. I could hear the others running behind me.

“W-what’s g-go-going on?” Jordan said, bouncing on my shoulder.

“We gotta lie low for a while. Find some disguises or something,” We ran into a nice clothing store and sat on the floor, breathing heavily.

“Hey guys, can I help you?” said the man behind the counter.

“We … need,” I panted. “a costume of some kind.”

“Um, kay?” the guy looked confused.

“Don’t ask,” Mike said to him.

Ten minutes later, we had all found something and started making jokes about each other’s identities. Jordan was a little uncomfortable with her disguise.

“Guys, do I have to look like a dude?” she asked, tightening her belt so her pants, which were already half way down her butt, wouldn’t fall down further.

I picked out a blue hat with black stitching to match her shirt and put in sideways on her head. “They saw four guys and a girl. They might put two and two together and realize it’s us. If they see five guys they’ll never know,”

She fixed her black hoodie like it was messed up and let the blue graphics on her shirt show a little. “Alright, but this crosses soo many lines.”

I looked to the guys who were trying to find hats to hide their hair. Ian’s black skinny jeans and black shirt made him look oddly Goth. He also had a studded belt that could be fatal should you get hit with it.

Matt was wearing bell bottoms, sandals and a tie-dye shirt. He definitely looked like a hippie as he finished it off with round sunglasses and a fedora. I thought he hated fedoras.

Mike was wearing generally the same thing Jordan and I were; a baggy shirt, pants that didn’t fit and refused to stay on the hips despite a belt, a huge sweater and of course a hat. I had quickly styled my hair into the “helmet fuck” so that the blue wasn’t really showing.

“You two are going to look so out of place,” Jordan said to Matt and Ian.

“I don’t conform to society by hanging out with others like me,” Ian slouched and put on a depressed face.

“Where do you think hippies get their pot, man?” Matt nudged Ian with his elbow and Ian glared at him.

My sister and I laughed at them. I handed my 604 card to the employee working at the store and he charged it.

We called Nat, told him what happened and told him to come pick up our clothes at the store. The man working there still looked confused but agreed to watch our things until Nat got there.

“When you said you’d buy me new clothes this isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” Jordan mumbled as we walked down the hall way of the mall.

“We’ll have Chad call a designer or something. This clearly won’t work,” I said. “Here’s that store I was telling you about,” we stopped in front of a gorgeous music store and admired the shiny, new instruments.

“Let’s go!” Jordan got excited and tried to run in.

I grabbed the back of her sweater and pulled her back. “Gimme your best guy voice,” she attempted something, but it didn’t work. “Okay, you’re a mute.”

The guys laughed and Jordan pouted, crossing her arms. She mumbled something I couldn’t hear and I let go of her hoodie.

“So, what are our names?” Matt asked.

“I’m gonna be Jimmy,” Ian said.

I laughed. “Alright, I’m Andy,” I said.

“Chris!” Mike claimed, raising his hand.

“Flowers,” Matt said with a completely straight face.

We were all silent. “Seriously?” Jordan raised an eyebrow at him.

He sighed. “Fine, Günter,”

“And what about you, my dear sister?” I looked at Jordan, who was playing with the hem of her shirt.

“Well my name’s already Jordan, so…”

“Okay, let’s go!” I walked into the store and went directly to the guitars. I picked up a beautiful white one, much like one of my own. “Try this one out,” I handed it to her and she took it from my hands.

“Hold on!” said a girl working there. She gave Jordan a pick and plugged the guitar into a small amp. “Okay, go!”

Jordan looked at me nervously and I nodded. She positioned her fingers on the fret board and I could tell she was going to play her song. She began strumming lightly, trying to get the feel of the instrument. A smile slowly spread across her face.

“He’s good,” the young woman said to me.

I smiled and nodded. “That’s my little bro!” I took Jordan’s hat off and ruffled her hair. She almost snarled at me as this caused her to mess up the song. “Whoa, sorry buddy,” I fixed her hair and put her hat back on gently.

The woman laughed. “Looking for anything in particular?” she looked at Jordan. Jordan looked at me with an expression that said “What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Uh, he’s a mute. Doesn’t speak,” I informed the girl.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Meh, he’s used to it. Now, can you show me where you keep the bass guitars?” Mike came up behind us.

“Chris, we’re not here for you. Jordan needs one for the tour,” I scolded Mike.

“What if I pay for it on my own then?” he asked.

I waved him off. “Whatever, go.”

“The bass guitars are over there,” she pointed to the opposite wall. “Tour?” the woman looked interested.

“Yeah, us four,” I pointed to the guys, “are in a band and my little bro is performing with us,”

“Oh that’s cool. I’m Kristy,” she held out her hand for me to shake.

“Andy, and this is Jordan, Chris, Günter and of course Jim,” I pointed to everybody in turn.

“Jimmy! Not Jim! Get it right!” Ian yelled at me angrily.

Kristy laughed. “Well it’s nice to meet you guys. What’s your band called?”

I didn’t know what to tell her so I yelled at Mike. “Hey Mi-Chris!” I stumbled with the words. “Tell the woman what we call our band!”

“Uh …” Mike panicked a bit.

Kristy had a satisfied grin on her face. “It’s alright, Josh. I know.”

My eyes got wider and I became frenzied. “Fuck,” I swore under my breath.

Kristy whispered to me, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell.”

“Thank you.”

“But seriously, who’s he?” she pointed to Jordan. “You don’t have a little brother.”

“Um no, but I do have a little sister,” I blushed and rubbed the back of my neck.

Kristy just stared at me, eyebrow raised.

“Jordan, come here,” I gestured for her to come over to us.

Jordan came up beside me and waved. Kristy looked confused. “But…who?”

“Jordan, you can talk to her. She figured us out.”

“Dammit.”

“But, Josh, I thought-” Kristy started to speak.

“She’s my half sister. I just found out, like, a few days ago,” I informed her. “You can’t tell anybody about this. It’s a secret until we announce it.”

She nodded. “Uh, so, which one you wanna buy?” she looked at Jordan.

Jordan turned around and looked up and down the wall of guitars. She pointed to a cherry red one with the black pick guard. “Can I see that one?”

Kristy went over to it and took it off the wall, handing it to my sister. Kristy plugged in this guitar next to the white one and handed that one to me. Mike decided to plug in the bass he found and Ian sat at a nearby drum set.

“Okay, play me something,” the girl said, stepping back and waiting for us to start. Matt stood beside her, smiling at us.

“Jordan, remember All to Myself?” I looked to my sister.

She smiled and nodded, shaking off her hoodie so people would see she’s a she. I new what she was planning and so did Matt. He set a mic in front of her and ruffled her hair.

She blew a strand of hair out of her face and strummed the first part experimentally. She stopped, looked up at me and smiled bigger than I’d ever seen somebody smile. “Let’s go,” and with that, they started to play.

Don't patronize, I realize  
I'm losing and this is my real life  
I'm half asleep, and I am wide awake  
This habit is always so hard to break

I don't want to be the bad guy,  
I've been blaming myself and I think you know why  
I'm killing time, and time's killing you  
Every way that I do

Did you say "Please just follow me"  
I thought you wanted me  
'Cause I want you all to myself  
I can try and suck it up  
I just can't suck it up  
Make me feel like someone else

Please just follow me  
I thought you wanted me  
'Cause I want you all to myself  
I can try and suck it up  
I just can't suck it up  
Make me feel like someone else

I'm under the gun, you're like the only one  
I just can't decide what I'm running from  
This isn't what I wanted, but  
I can't keep my filthy fucking mouth shut 

It's not enough, it's never enough  
And I wish I could breathe without getting it stuck  
Can't focus it, but I try it  
over and over again

Did you say "Please just follow me"  
I thought you wanted me   
'Cause I want you all to myself  
I can try and suck it up   
I just can't suck it up  
Make me feel like someone else

Please just follow me   
I thought you wanted me  
'Cause I want you all to myself  
I can try and suck it up  
I just can't suck it up  
Make me feel like someone else

People had started to gather as we played and when we finished they applauded our performance. Jordan smiled again and I hugged her. I was proud of her. This may have been a spontaneous performance in some random music store, but she did great and I was proud to say she was my sister.


	6. Sonny Moore

Jordan’s POV:

It was the first time I had actually performed like that with a band and I loved every moment of it. We had been doing some rehearsal stuff, but I had never actually performed for people. I couldn’t wait to play on stage with the guys. I decided to take the red and black guitar and Josh went and paid for it while Ian and I chatted and Matt and Mike argued about Matt’s hat.

“You did really well, Jordan,” Ian said to me, smiling hugely.

“Thanks. I couldn’t have done any of this without you guys.”

“Sooo not true! You could totally make it on your own, like Avril Lavigne.”

I chuckled. “Either way, I’m grateful that I have you guys.”

Ian stepped closer to me, wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me tight. I hugged him back. We stood there like that for a while, until Josh smacked Ian in the back of the head and handed me my new guitar in its case.

Because Josh hit Ian, Ian hit him back. This caused some strange slapping fight to break out. They fought each other like little kids. After a few seconds of slapping each others hands they started playing Patty Cake. I laughed at the antics of my brother and my friend. Ian looked at me as he continued this weird game and Josh, obviously, couldn’t resist. He slapped Ian’s face and quickly hid behind Mike, who stood behind me, watching the weirdness. Ian looked at my brother defiantly and scooped me up, guitar and all, and ran out of the store with me.

“Come back here with my sister!” Josh yelled after us and proceeded to chase Ian.

“Ian, what are you doing?” I asked, clutching my new guitar closely.

He continued to run through the mall with me in his arms. “I’m stealing you.”

“What?!”

“It’s difficult to run in these pants,” he complained, ignoring my question and doing a little waddle in an attempt to keep his pants from falling.

He ran up an escalator, looked behind himself and concluded that Josh had lost us. Ian put me down, grabbing my hand and leading me toward a bench. We sat down on the bench quietly and held each others hands.

“So, why did you steal me from Josh? Ha-ha,” I asked him.

“Because I wanted to spend some time with you. Just you and me.”

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. I wasn’t sure exactly what he was saying and this puzzled me. I never really understood guys.

“I-I like you, Jordan. More than normal.”

I blinked rapidly at Ian, causing him to also tilt his head to the side. “Um, I like you too,” was all I could get out of my mouth. I always had trouble speaking to people when this happened.

“Really?!” he smiled at me.

I nodded and smiled back. When Ian smiled at you, you couldn’t help but smile back.

My phone started to ring at that moment. I pulled it out of my pocket and realized it was Josh. I showed Ian the number on the screen and he just nodded.

I pressed the Talk button and before I could really say anything Josh’s voice shouted at me from somewhere else in the mall. “Where the fuck are you guys?!”

“Relax, Josh. We’ll meet you back at the bus in like ten minutes,” and with that I hung up on him.

Ian frowned. “I suppose we should go back. We don’t want Josh to get too pissed off.”

We stood up, still holding hands, and before Ian could start walking toward the main doors I put down my guitar and pulled him close to me, wrapping my arms around his neck. Instinctively, his arms curled around my waist and he held me close. I smiled at him again and leaned in closer to him. He did the same and pressed his lips to mine softly. The kiss didn’t last very long though. Ian’s cell phone rang and startled us both, causing him to let me go and me to jump away from him.

“Josh, we’ll be right there. Keep your fucking pants on,” Ian answered his phone, hung up quickly and sighed.

I let him hold my hand as we walked out of the building and back to the RV, where everybody was waiting for us. Josh looked a little frustrated, but he wasn’t too upset that Ian and I had run off for a few minutes.

We set off for the hotel we’d be staying at. Nobody really wanted to sleep in the bus when we could just stay at a hotel. Josh and Ian were talking at the table, Matt was sitting up front with Nat and Mike was sitting on the couch, watching a movie on his iPod. I was lying in my bunk and thinking about that kiss. It was a little too short to really have been much, but it was enough. My thoughts drifted around a bit and eventually I had fallen asleep.

Ian’s POV:

Josh and I were talking at the table on our way to the hotel while everybody else did their own thing to keep themselves busy on the bus. “So what were you guys doing, anyway?” Josh asked me.

“Well not much, thanks to you. We were just talking for a bit.”

“You were just talking? That’s it?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah. What else would we be doing?”

“I dunno, maybe you two were making out, ha-ha. I know how much you like her. I don’t mind if you wanna go out with her or something. It’s cool with me,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes, with not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

I just stared back at him, trying not to let him know what was going through my mind at that moment. I had never thought Josh would be so cool about this. He’s always been so protective of his cats. Why was his sister any different? No, that’s a stupid question. She’s not a cat. She’s his sister. I’m still confused. I decided to speak, “I-I uh, I kissed her.”

“You did what?!” he shouted and stood up quickly.

We heard a loud thumping noise and looked in the direction it came from and found that Jordan had fallen out of her bunk and onto the floor in a heap. I jumped up from where I was sitting and helped her up. She looked a bit dazed, but looked straight at Josh and spoke, as if unfazed by her fall. “Who did what?”

“It’s nothing. We’re just talking,” Josh told her.

“Oh, okay,” and she climbed back into her bunk and wrapped her blanket around herself snugly.

I sat back down across from Josh and started to talk quietly, “Dude, it was just a little kiss. Don’t make this into a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, dude. This is my sister we’re talking about here.”

“I know, Josh, but I like her. You know that. She likes me too. She told me,” I responded.

He sighed. “I know, man. Just don’t fuck this up. Don’t you dare hurt her. I love you guys both and I’d hate to see either of you heartbroken.”

“Yeah, I know.”

And that’s when we got to the hotel.

Jordan’s POV:

I was dreaming of some amazing and crazy Techno music that I had made in my dream when I was woken up by the sudden lack of movement of the RV. I heard the guys talking quietly and I heard Ian walk over to my bunk. I looked at him and he smiled. I was going to get up, but he just shook his head and scooped me up, blanket and all. Nat had to carry my bags and Ian’s bags into the hotel because of this. As Ian walked across the parking lot and toward the hotel I let out a deep breath and snuggled into his chest. I could hear his heart beating. I opened my eyes for a moment once we were inside and the man at the front desk gave Ian a funny look.

Josh told him who we were and he gave us keys for two rooms. Ian, Josh and I were in one and Matt, Mike and Nat were in the other. The rooms were right next door to each other so Matt Mike and Nat were in our room for a while, talking and hanging out. I just lay on the bed beside Ian and watched Josh and Mike play video games on a console that Matt had brought with.

“Oh, I totally got you there, Joshy,” Mike said in a rather loud voice.

I flinched a bit at his shouting and Ian pulled me in closer to him. I happily cuddled nearer to him and closed my eyes. There was a bit more shouting and then Ian shushed them.

“Jordan, are you sleeping?” he asked me quietly.

I opened my eyes and looked up at his face. He smiled at me and kissed me while Josh had his back turned to us. I knew Josh would be a little upset about this. I had heard him lecturing Ian on our way to the hotel.

Eventually Mike had beaten Josh at their video game and Matt, Mike and Nat had gone back to their own room. Josh and Ian were arguing for a while about me.

“I don’t want you two sleeping in the same bed together!” he said, loudly.

“How do you think we’d do anything when you’re sleeping right there?!” Ian yelled back, pointing to Josh’s bed a few feet away.

Eventually I got fed up with them and yelled at Josh. “Suck it up! You’re gonna have to get used to me an Ian sooner or later and I’d rather it be sooner.”

And with that, he gave up the fight and let Ian sleep next to me. 

Josh was already curled up in his bed, snoring like a bear, while Ian was brushing his teeth. I had my blanket from the bus still tightly wrapped around myself. Ian came out of the washroom and scoffed at Josh.

“I do not understand how he can fall asleep so fast. It used to take him hours.”

Ian climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around me snugly. I kissed his jaw line and snuggled into his chest. He was so warm. He let out a deep breath and soon we were both fast asleep in each other’s arms.

Matt’s POV:

Mike, Nat and I woke up at eight AM and decided to keep with our early morning hotel ritual even though Jordan was with us this time. We had stolen Josh’s room key the night before and knew Josh wouldn’t suspect anything. He knew we did this all the time. We had woken him up enough times to know he was sick of this.

Mike opened their door and we snuck in quietly. I went in first, Nat and Mike close behind. I saw Ian and Jordan, curled up together in one of the beds. Josh was lying in the other bed, feet on the pillow and head hanging off the foot end of the mattress. Nat gently climbed onto Josh’s bed, standing above him, and Mike and I were on Ian and Jordan’s bed. I used my fingers to count down from three and when my last finger went down we all started bouncing and yelling.

“Get up, get up! It’s morning!” Nat yelled at Josh.

Josh groaned and kicked Nat’s feet out from under him, which sent him flying to the floor.

Mike and I jumped on the other bed, laughing at Nat. “Wakey, wakey love birds,” Mike shouted.

Jordan shrieked and tumbled to the floor, beside Nat. Ian jumped out of the bed and rescued his damsel in distress. She brushed herself off and gave me a funny look. “Really?”

I smiled. “Yup.”

Josh’s POV:

After our rude awakening, we had breakfast brought up to us and while we ate we debated about nothing in particular. There were little bits of pancake and bacon flying everywhere as we shouted nonsense at each other.

“Guys,” Jordan tried to get our attention as she shielded her face from debris. “GUYS!” she yelled.

We all stopped and looked at her. The look on her face was so…parental. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I burst out laughing, spewing egg everywhere. In turn, the others did the same and Jordan took refuge under the table. Once we were done spitting food around Jordan came out from under the table and gave us a very unimpressed look.

I patted her head. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Okay guys, we gotta get back on the bus. We’ve got to go meet Sonny Moore,” Nat said, looking at my sister.

She immediately brightened up and leapt out of her chair. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” she bounced around like an excited child.

We made our way to the RV after breakfast, bags in tow. We then headed for the building that Sonny would be meeting us at. He had the entire place to himself for the show he’d playing later that night. He was eager to hear Jordan and Jordan was eager to just see him.

Jordan couldn’t keep still on the way to Sonny. She was sitting on the couch, beside Ian, holding his hand as he listened to Matt and Mike’s debate about acoustic guitar vs. electric. Jordan’s leg bounced up and down and she constantly shifted her position. I got up off the floor where I had been sitting and plopped myself down on my sister’s lap.

“Oof, Josh, what the hell?” she laughed and put her arms around my abdomen.

“You need to relax,” I told her in a slight motherly tone.

“You’re crushing me,” she complained.

“Oh, sorry,” I got off of her and sat beside her instead. “Just, chill out. He’s just another person.”

“I know, but didn’t you freak out at least a little bit the first time you met a famous person?”

“No and neither did you,” I gestured toward myself.

She laughed again. “I didn’t know who you were when I first met you. That doesn’t count.”

“Yeah it does cause that’s pretty much exactly how it went for me too,” I stuck my tongue out at her and sat back down on the floor. “My dad owned a recording studio that I always hung out in and mom was a singing teacher. I never knew that these people were famous. They were just people.”

“Mom’s a singing teacher? Interesting.”

Matt and Mike stopped talking, abruptly and Mike leapt up and shouted, “We’re here!”

Nat stopped a little suddenly, throwing the bassist forward and to the floor. Ian jumped up, sitting on Mike’s back and slapping his ass repeatedly. “That’s for waking me up this morning!” Ian shouted.

Everybody laughed, except for Mike. Ian got up off of our band-mate and went back to holding Jordan’s hand.

“Hey Jordan, looks like you’ve got some competition,” Matt laughed.

“Nah, I like girls,” Ian stated.

“Prove it,” Mike stroked his beard.

“Fine!” Ian said, defiantly.

Ian’s POV:

Jordan was still holding my hand. I yanked her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tight. She coiled her arms around my neck and I kissed her. I kissed her like I have never kissed anybody before. It was a warm, passionate kiss. I kissed her with all the love I had for her. I could tell that she was doing the same.

I heard the guys “oo”ing, but I didn’t care. I had been waiting to do that for a while and that seemed like the perfect time for it.

The kiss didn’t last as long as I was hoping it would, but Jordan pulled away. I could tell she was a little shy about showing so much affection in front of her friends and her brother. I was okay with that.

“Alright, you’ve proven your point. Let’s get going,” Josh hurried us out the door, clearly not comfortable with witnessing what had just happened.

Jordan held my hand as we made our way in. A security guard met us at the doors and led us to the main room where Sonny was. Jordan was shaking a bit so I put my arm around her waist to comfort her. She calmed down almost immediately.

We entered a large room and all the way at the back there was all the DJ equipment set up. Sonny was nowhere to be seen yet. Then, out of nowhere, he popped up from behind a large speaker. It wasn’t hard for the man to hide. He was pretty short.

“Hey guys, how’s it goin’?”

Jordan smiled, waved and stayed calm. Sonny waved back at her and grinned. At least she wasn’t freaking out.

“Jordan here,” Josh ruffled her hair. “is very excited to meet you and is looking forward to working with you.”

He smiled again. “As am I.”

“What, you speak for me now?” Jordan looked at Josh and fixed her hair.

“So Jordan, have you ever worked with this type of equipment before?” Sonny asked, gesturing toward the stuff behind him.

“Yeah, actually I did some stuff for the Christmas banquet at my old high school once.”

“Good. Let’s hear something then,” he pulled her from my arm and led her to the table at the back.

The rest of us followed them to the back and stood in front of the table. Jordan pulled a laptop out of the messenger bag I had neglected to notice and set it on the table. Sonny plugged something into it and set up a few things and went to stand beside us.

Jordan looked at me nervously and I smiled reassuringly at her. She smiled back and looked down at the equipment in front of her. She took a deep breath, picked up a microphone and walked over to us.


	7. Only Noticing Now

Jordan’s POV:

Mic in hand, I walked up to my brother and held the object up to him. He looked at me with a puzzled expression.  
“Scream.”  
Josh continued to look at me confusedly. Ian nudged him lightly and Josh let out the loudest scream I had ever heard in my entire life.  
I smiled at him and went back to the equipment. I stopped the recording and fiddled around with some of the sounds I had on my laptop. I put them together in a rough tune and then hit play.  
I used the equipment in front of me to the best of my ability and played for the guys. I contorted the bass line so it would sound more like a beat than anything and I used some of the little bits of sound I had collected over the last few days with the guys. It was mostly them shouting random words. I also had some fragments of random noises I had heard while I was still at home on the farm. I had just about everything. There was a screeching noise in the middle of the song. It was just the sound of the front door on my house when you open it, but I edited the sound a bit a few days earlier so it was shriller and echo-y. In the background of the song, all you could hear was Matt yelling “Fuck” over and over again. Once I neared the end I got ready and dropped the bass and threw Josh’s scream in. The guys, including Sonny, all looked at me with stunned expressions. I turned the bass back up and then let it die down slowly.  
I turned off the equipment and put my computer back into my bag. I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped down from the stage. I walked back over to my friends and stood beside my brother. An unusual thought crossed my mind, but I quickly threw it away without a second thought.  
“That…wow,” Sonny said to me with the biggest smile on his face.   
I smiled back at him.  
“You, kid, are gonna go far,” that smile would not leave that man’s face. It seemed as though it was permanent. Sonny handed Josh six tickets to his show tonight. “Here, take Brett too.”  
“Wooo!!” we heard Brett’s voice from the doors.  
We all laughed at him.  
“Well, I’ve got some more work to do, so I’ll see you guys tonight, alright?”  
“For sure!” Ian answered before anybody else could.  
We were rushed out the door by some people that were there helping Sonny with the set up. We went back to the tour bus where Nat was waiting for us. Josh told him where to go after checking his phone for directions. He had texted a friend of his earlier, somebody to help me with my wardrobe. I was a bit reluctant to let somebody else dress me, but I was sure he could probably do a better job than me.

Josh’s POV:

“This way, this way,” I led Jordan through the building to the place where I knew this guy would be. He had been a friend of mine for a while and when I told him about the situation he offered to help. “Richard!” I shouted down the hallway.  
“Over here, Ramsay!” he recognized my voice and I flung Jordan over my shoulder again and ran to the room where Richard’s voice had come from.  
Once I entered I saw all the clothing racks filled with colourful bits of clothing. I knew Jordan wasn’t a fan of super bright colours so this would be fun. I put my sister down and let her get a good look around the room. The look on her face was that of a frightened feline. I could tell she was going to have a difficult time with this.

***

“Alright, I’m done,” Richard’s voice woke me from my light nap.  
Ian was sitting beside me, still asleep. How long have we been here? I nudged my friend and he awoke with a snort and sat up rapidly.  
We both looked at my sister, who was standing awkwardly in front of us. She was wearing a pair of bright red skinny jeans and a white V-neck shirt and a black tank top underneath. Ian smiled at her, clearly impressed with her new look.  
She smiled shyly back and relaxed a bit.  
“Well, what do you think?” Richard asked us.  
“Awesome,” Ian kept smiling at my sister and gazed into her eyes.  
“Okay, now we gotta go. It’s late,” I said looking at my phone.  
Ian put his arm around Jordan and I grabbed the suitcase with her new clothes in it and we headed out of the building and back to the bus where the others waited for us so we could go to the Skrillex show that Jordan was anticipating ever so much.

***

“Before we start the show,” Sonny started speaking to everybody in the audience shortly after we had arrived. “I’d like to invite a friend of mine up here to help me out a bit. Josh, send Jordan up here.” He pointed straight at us and I nudged my sister.  
Jordan looked thoroughly confused as she walked through the crowd of people and toward the stage where Sonny was. She had only gotten about half way through before the fans had all realized who she was. They hastily lifted her up. There was a flash of panic on her face for a moment. The mass of people carried Jordan all the way to the stage and tossed her cleanly into the air, where Sonny caught her and put her down beside him.  
“Guys, this is Jordan. She’s the little sister of a friend of mine. What would you guys think if she performed with me tonight?”  
There was a little bit of cheering, but most people were silent.  
“Okay, fine. How about she gives you a little preview?” Sonny pulled out Jordan’s computer, which I had given him earlier. Jordan didn’t know that we had planned this all out.  
Sonny quickly hooked up the laptop and moved out of the way for my sister. She gave him a look of confusion and he just smiled at her. She rolled her eyes and started playing the song she had played for us earlier that day.  
It didn’t take long and the crowd started screaming and dancing just as if they were here to see Jordan instead of Skrillex. I smiled. I couldn’t be more proud of my sister.  
The rest of the show went great. This generally wasn’t the type of music I listened to, but it sounded pretty awesome. Jordan did great and Sonny was beaming. It startled me a bit when Sonny leapt off the stage and started thrashing around in the crowd as the audience carried him around. For such a short, little guy he was pretty spunky.

***

Jordan was fast asleep in her bunk as were the rest of the guys. I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. Well, actually it was more like I was staring at the underside of Matt’s bunk. I thought about so many things at once. Most of my thoughts were about my sister: the look on her face when she was performing with Sonny, the way she and Ian look at each other, how such a great kid could possibly be related to me, although I felt as if there was something she wasn’t telling me.  
I discarded these thoughts and let my eyes close and my body relax. It was time for some sleep.

Ian’s POV:

“Jordan, c’mon. You’re taking forever. We’ve got to go into the stadium to set up and do sound check and get hair and makeup done and…”  
“Relax, Josh. I’m hurrying.” Jordan’s voice came from the back of the RV. She suddenly came running out, backpack and messenger bag on her shoulders. I grabbed the bag with her laptop in it as she ran past so she wouldn’t drop it.  
We were rushed into the building so we could get everything in order for the first show. When I had put Jordan’s bag down by where she was setting up I was swiftly shooed away by Brett, who was helping her, and was sent to set up my drums and other equipment.  
It had been about 45 minutes before I realized that Jordan was missing. I walked around for a little while looking for her, but I couldn’t seem to locate her. I didn’t think much of it and went to go help the guys set the last few things up.  
As I was walking back to the green room after set up I saw Jordan coming back inside from the back door.  
“Hey, what were you doing out there?” I caught a whiff of something I knew all too well, but, stupidly, I ignored it.  
“Uh, I was getting some air. I’m a bit nervous,” she avoided eye contact a bit.  
“Don’t be nervous,” I smiled at her and wrapped my arms around her waist. “You did great at the show last night. You’ll do even better tonight. I know you will.”  
She beamed. “Thanks, Ian. You’re the best.”  
“I try,” I kissed her gently. Something was off. I wasn’t totally sure what, but something was going on. “Come on. Let’s got get our sound check done and we can get this party started.”  
We walked down the hall and back to the stage where everybody was waiting for us to do sound check.

***

During the entire show, Jordan kept a good distance from Matt, Mike and her brother. It seemed as though she was afraid of something. I knew that she was keeping something from us and I needed to find out. This was a very peculiar way for her to be acting. I didn’t like this.  
Josh started speaking randomly in the middle of the show again, like he tends to do often times. “If you guys are wondering who this lovely young female over here is, this is my little sister. Her name is Jordan. Get over here, kid,” Josh tried to get Jordan to come to center stage. She just shook her head and backed up a step. “C’mon, don’t be shy. They can’t bite you from here,” he chuckled.  
“No I’ll stay here,” she said into her microphone.  
Josh sighed and walked over to his sister. She looked slightly panicked and took another step back. Josh took her guitar from her, set it down and lifted her onto his shoulder again. A look of alarm rushed across his face. It was gone in a second. He put his sister down in the center of the stage and gave her a sarcastic look.  
“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”  
She looked at her feet and then back up at her brother.  
“Okay, you can go back to the corner now,” Josh shooed her away from his mic and chuckled.

***

I plopped myself down on one of the couches in the green room and let out a deep breath. “That was a pretty great show, but I am relieved that it’s over.”  
“Yeah, me too,” Jordan sat down on the floor by my legs and played with the hem of my jeans.  
“Well, let’s go back to the bus and head to the next city. Plus I’m sure we’d all appreciate a good night’s rest,” Josh clapped his hands together and started gathering his things.  
Once back to the bus, we all went to our bunks. These shows really take a lot out of a person. I am actually pretty astounded that Jordan was able to do two shows in a row. And with that thought, I fell asleep.


	8. Breaking Hearts

Jordan’s POV:

I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep my secret from the guys. Ian had caught me coming inside the other night and Josh had definitely smelled it on me. My mind scrambled to find another way to keep things hidden. I couldn’t let them find out. I was terrified about how they would react.  
The day right after that show, I remained normal and didn’t do anything that would tip them off. I just went through my day like they had always seen me do. On our way to the next city we played board games, talked about all kinds of stuff and everything was normal.  
“Good afternoon, my darling,” Ian greeted me when he got up at 3 pm.  
He gave me a little kiss and a big hug. I smiled at him and greeted him as well.  
“I don’t understand how you can sleep like that, dude,” Josh shook his head.  
Ian shrugged and sat down beside me after grabbing some random items out of the fridge. He started eating his really late breakfast and the rest of us continued on with the game of Uno we had started. “Uno!” I shouted when I realized that I was holding my last card.  
Matt laughed and slapped down a pick up four card.  
I gave him an angry look, picked up my cards and put two pick up two cards down. Josh grumbled and picked up eight cards.  
Once the game was over, in which I had inevitably won, Matt and Josh did some song writing and Mike, Ian and I watched a movie on the small TV that was in the bus. I ended up falling asleep curled into Ian’s side.

Mike’s POV:

“Pst,” I whispered to Ian, trying not to wake a sleeping Jordan between us.  
“What?”  
“Are you as suspicious as the rest of us are?” I nodded my head toward the sleeping girl.  
He looked confused. “Of what?”  
“I dunno. Josh says something is going on. He won’t tell me and Matt what it is, but he says something is going on with her and she’s not telling us.”  
“Now that I think about it, sorta. I did notice something last night, but I really don’t think it is anything.”  
“What do you think it is?” I asked, curious as to what he thought.  
“I’m not sure. I really don’t wanna jump to any conclusions without knowing what is actually going on,” he brushed a strand of hair out of Jordan’s face.  
“Okay, well I hope it’s nothing.”  
“Me too.”

Ian’s POV:

We ended up spending the entire day on the bus, doing nothing productive, except for Matt and Josh, who had started writing a new song out of pure boredom. After Jordan had fallen asleep during the movie, it had gotten fairly late so I tucked her into her bunk and went to bed myself. The next day was pretty much the same thing, until the evening rolled around and we finally figured out what had been going on this whole time.

Josh’s POV:

“Jordan, I need to talk to you. Now,” I had said once it had gotten dark two days after the show in Edmonton.  
When I had lifted Jordan up during the show the other night, I could smell something that I hoped I would never have to smell again. Marijuana. It was like somebody stabbed me in the chest and violently twisted the knife when I figured it out. That was why she had gone missing earlier and that’s why she had been spending a lot of time outside by herself. I felt stupid for not noticing it earlier. I wanted to confront her about it, but I just wasn’t sure how. Until now.  
“What do you wanna talk about?” she asked me.  
I sighed. “Come here. We need to talk outside for a second.”  
She got up slowly and reluctantly from Ian’s side on the couch. I closed the door behind her when we were both out of the parked vehicle  
“Jordan, I know what you’ve been doing.”  
“What do you mean?” she was playing dumb.  
“I can smell it on you. I know you’re a pot head. What the fuck is going on?”  
She just stared at me, not sure what to say. She knew she was in trouble. I had backed her into a metaphorical corner.  
“I-I’m sorry. I-” she stumbled with her words.  
“Jordan, please. Don’t do this.”  
“Josh, I know, I just-”  
“No, stop. Listen to me for a minute. You can’t do this. I was addicted to heroin a long time ago,” I choked the words and Jordan listened. “It was ruining my life. I had to make a choice. I was forced to choose between music and drugs. I knew that I couldn’t do both. I chose the music, and it was hard to quit, but I did it. Music has always meant more to me than anything, and now, Jordan, you mean so much to me. I can’t watch this happen to you.”  
“It’s just weed.”  
“No, Jordan. It’s not. Once you’re on that for a while, you’ll start experimenting with other things and before you know it, you’re being dragged to rehab, kicking and screaming and that’s the best case scenario.”  
“Phf, yeah right. I’m not that dumb,” she stared at the ground.  
“That doesn’t matter!” I started almost shouting at her. “You can be really fucking smart and tell yourself that you’d never do drugs, but if you start with one thing, chances are you’re going to end up doing much more than just that in the long run,” I put my hands on her arms. “Jordan, you can’t do both. You have to choose one. Don’t do this to yourself, don’t do this to Ian, and please don’t do this to me.”  
I noticed that I had started crying and my knees were shaking. I didn’t think it was possible to get this upset over my sister doing something like this. Jordan looked at me with concern in her eyes. I pulled her into a hug and held her tightly.  
“Please, Jordan.”  
I heard the RV door open and somebody leap out the door. Then, Ian’s voice rang out behind me.  
“What’s going on? Josh, why are you crying?”  
Jordan gently pushed me away and looked at my friend with a guilty look on her face. She looked back at me, as if asking me to tell him for her.  
I shook my head. “You have to tell him yourself,” and I walked back into the RV, leaving them alone outside.

Ian’s POV:

“Tell me what?” I looked at Jordan perplexedly.  
“Um, well…” she kicked the dirt lightly with her toe.  
“What’s going on, Jordan? Please tell me.”  
She looked at me and tears started falling from those big, blue eyes of hers. I held her as close to me as I could and let her cry on my shoulder.  
“I’m sorry, Ian. I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t think it was that bad. I never thought any of this would happen. I’m sorry,” she sobbed.  
“Please tell me, what’s wrong? I can help you,” I rubbed her back softly.  
She shook her head. “No, you can’t. I have to do this myself. I don’t want to hurt you too.”  
“Jordan, what is going on?” I said in a more demanding tone.  
She looked up at me, tears staining her cheeks. “I’ve been smoking marijuana for the last couple years. You and Josh are the only people that know other than the people back in my hometown that I buy from. I’ve never told anybody before.”  
I didn’t know what to say to her. I just stared down at her and wondered why she would even do something like this. When I finally managed to get some words out they weren’t much. “But, why?”  
“When you’ve dealt with as much as I have, there isn’t much else to do. I guess I just made the wrong friends.”  
“I-I need some time to think about this,” I said to her, letting her go and turning around to go for a walk.  
“Ian-”  
“Just give me some time. Please,” and with that I walked off.

Jordan’s POV:

I watched as Ian walked off the parking lot and to the sidewalk. He started walking down the sidewalk and disappeared around the corner of a building. I sat down on the pavement and leaned up against the wheel of the RV. I hadn’t realized how badly they’d react. I felt like I had hurt my brother and my boyfriend immensely and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I sat outside, by myself, for a few minutes before Josh emerged from the bus. He saw that Ian had left me on my own and he sat down beside me.  
“He didn’t react well, I suppose?”  
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t think…”  
“That’s right. You didn’t think, and that’s okay. What we need to concentrate on now is getting you through this and making sure you’re okay.”  
Josh stood up, put his feet on my toes and held out his hands. I took his hands and he lifted me off the ground. “What can I do? I mean, about Ian.”  
“Just let him cool off. He’ll be okay. He loves you too much to let this get in the way,” he smiled at me.  
I wiped the tears from my face and leaned against my brother. He hugged me and opened the door for me. I stepped inside where I saw Matt and Mike looking rather disappointed in me. I sat down on the couch and Mike immediately hugged me tightly like he always did.  
“Is it safe to assume Josh told you what’s going on?” I asked him.  
“Indeed it is. He figured it’d be enough for you to tell Ian on your own,” Matt said quietly.  
“I hope he’s not too mad,” I stared at my feet and tried to imagine what Ian could possibly be thinking right now.


	9. Breaking Faces

Ian’s POV:

I can’t believe she would do something like this! Why would she do this? I have never been angrier about something like this. Ever. So many thoughts flew through my head as I walked through this city. It had started raining and I was soaked to the bone, but I wasn’t prepared to go back to the bus. I couldn’t face her after this. I felt a bit guilty for just leaving her there, but I needed time to think by myself.   
I wandered around aimlessly for a while and finally came across a warm looking bar. I went inside and shook my hair out. Droplets of water flew in every direction and I walked in, careful not to drip water all over the floor. I sat down at the bar and the bartender didn’t even give me a strange look. It was like he was used to seeing sopping wet people walk in and sit down.  
“What’s wrong, pal? Something got ya down?” he asked me.  
“Yeah…”  
“Problem with the Mrs.?”  
“You could say that, yeah.”  
“Well, can I get you anything?”  
“Just a light beer will do I suppose,” I handed him a five and he gave me my change after promptly getting me a drink.  
“Well, what’s on your mind?”  
I guess it wouldn’t hurt to tell this guy. It’s not like he can hold any of this information against me. “Uh, well I found out today that my girlfriend is addicted to weed. I’ve had friends that had addictions and not all of them turned out okay in the end. I don’t want to see her like them. I’m not sure if I’m pissed off or if I’m just really sad about what might happen.”  
“Uh huh, I see. Maybe you should let her know about all this. Let her know you’re worried.”  
I sighed. “Yeah, she knows, but she probably thinks I’m more mad than anything. I stormed off without saying much.”  
“Well, when you go home, tell her how important she is to you and make sure she knows that you’ll be there for her through the whole thing. Make sure she knows you love her.”  
I nodded and continued to drink. I sat there for a while talking with the bartender and drinking my sadness away. Several drinks later, my intoxicate self, stumbled out of the bar and headed back for the bus. I hadn’t realized how late it was. It had gotten pretty dark. When I got to the lot where the bus was it still hadn’t moved an inch. The lights were all on and I could see some shadowy figures moving around inside.  
I knocked on the door and almost fell over. I supported myself using the handle by the door. Josh opened it, looking not at all worried. I saw Jordan behind him with a concerned expression on her face.  
“Ian, are you okay? I’m really sorry,” she ran up to me when I stepped in and tried to hug me.  
I pushed her away and let myself fall onto the couch in a heap. “Go away. I dunwanna talk to you.”  
“Are you drunk?” Matt raised an eyebrow at me.  
“Phf, naw. Me? No.” I shook my head at my friends clumsily.  
“Ian, I’m so sorry,” Jordan started sobbing again.  
“Oh, stop crying. You’re being a baby,” I snapped.  
The look on her face was that of either surprise or hurt.  
“You do not talk to my sister that way, Ian,” Josh looked angry.  
Suddenly the room started spinning and I groaned. “Whatever. I don’t care. I don’t need you anymore,” I pointed to the girl. “I’m soooo pissed right now. I don’t wanna deal with that shit anymore.”  
Jordan’s face still looked unhappy. Josh just looked angry as hell and the others looked at Josh warily, wondering if they would have to restrain the man from something. My dumb, drunk brain couldn’t figure out why everybody was like this.  
“Ian, go to bed,” Josh said through clenched teeth.  
“No, I dunwanna.”  
“Ian-” Jordan tried coming over to me again.  
“Beat it, kid! I’m sick of your shit!” I shouted.  
That’s when Josh lunged at me. He grabbed the front of my shirt and heaved me off the couch. Since he was a bit taller than me he stared down at me looking angrier than I had ever seen somebody. “Don’t speak to her that way ever again or so help me I will fuck up your face, Casselman.”  
“Josh, don’t,” Matt tried to calm him down.  
He let me go and I slumped back onto the sofa. Jordan walked over to me and opened her mouth to speak, but I yelled before she could say anything.  
“No! I don’t wanna hear it! Leave me alone! I don’t wanna hear about any more of your bitching and complaining!”  
“Ian!” Mike yelled at me.  
Great, now he’s mad at me too? I looked at Jordan and shouted some more. “You must be some kind of stupid to go and start something like that. People that are addicted to shit like that are all pathetic! They can’t handle the shit life throws at them so they turn to drugs and shit cause they think it’ll help, but it just fucks things up more! They’re all just weak!”  
Josh pushed his sister out of the way and grabbed me again, but this time he didn’t give me any warning or lecture. His fist connected with my face and I blacked out.

Jordan’s POV:

After Josh knocked Ian out cold, Mike pulled him away from Ian and sat him down at the table. He gave him some time to cool down and Matt and Mike put Ian carefully in his bunk. I sat beside my brother, tears still running down my face, but not really making any noise. Josh tried to comfort me and tell me that everything would be okay, but I was far too upset about all this to listen to what he was saying to me. Instead I just sat there and wondered what I could do to fix this. I was so lost and I wasn’t sure what I could do. I couldn’t do this anymore.

Josh’s POV:

The next morning Ian was far too ashamed of himself to talk to anybody. Instead he sat in silence in his bunk after examining the fresh bruise on his face and eating a little bit of food. Jordan sat around sulking and fiddling with her computer. I didn’t regret punching my friend in the face. To be honest, he deserved it after talking to my sister that way, but Jordan didn’t deserve any of this, even if she was keeping her addiction from us. I hadn’t seen her leave the bus in a while though. I saw her pull something out of her backpack earlier and flush it down the toilet. I was going to assume that was what was remaining of her stash. Maybe she needed this after all.  
I made my sister some breakfast and sat down beside her. “Are you gonna be okay?”  
“I think I wanna go home. I don’t wanna be a bother to you guys and I know it won’t help the whole tour thing if Ian is hiding away from me all the time.”  
“I see. Have you thought about this a lot?”  
She nodded. “I knew as soon as you hit him that I couldn’t stay here with you guys. I have to go home.”  
I sighed and hugged her tight. “We’ll buy you a plane ticket home as soon as we get to the next city. I’m sure gonna miss you. It’s a nice change having you with us.”  
“I’m gonna miss you too, Josh,” she tightened her grip on me.  
“I really hate seeing you guys like this and I realize it is partly because I hit him, but I wasn’t going to let him talk to you like that. I just wish I had gone after him before. Maybe then he wouldn’t have come back piss drunk.”  
“No, it’s okay. I think it’s just best for me to go home.”

***

Matt, Mike and I waved sadly to my sister as she entered the airport. Ian just stood behind us, shamefully looking at his feet. I knew he felt pretty bad about this whole thing and I was glad he felt like shit about this. He had no right to treat my sister like that. The worst part was that they were both terribly heart broken and I hated seeing my friend and my sister like that.  
Jordan agreed that she’d text me every day until we got to Ontario. Once we would get there we’d go visit her and her dad on their farm. I knew Ian wasn’t particularly happy about this, but I was pretty sure that by then they’d both have simmered down enough to get along and be civil.  
We watched as my sister disappeared inside the building and we drove off. Ian sulked in the corner and the rest of us went on with our day as usual.

Jordan’s POV:

When I got back my dad picked me up at the airport and drove me home. He had already heard about everything that happened with Ian and me and why. Josh had called him for me since I had been too scared to. He was rather disappointed, but I told him I was done with it and he seemed to cheer up a bit.  
We drove back to the farm in near silence. The radio was on and the last song that played as we drove down the driveway was Fallout by Marianas Trench. I closed my eyes and listened to my brother’s voice. I was really gonna miss that voice of his. I had grown so accustomed to hearing him all the time in the past few days. I remembered how much I hated being home alone all the time. My dad was rarely home. I sighed and the truck stopped in front of our home. I turned the radio off and climbed out of the vehicle, luggage in hand.  
My amount of clothing had grown quite a bit since I had left. Josh told me to keep the clothes. Chad ended up calling me at some point to see if I still wanted to sign a contract for a record deal and do some studio work. He told me he’d set me up with a band that needed a singer and fly me out to Vancouver whenever I wanted to get going. I agreed, figuring I had nothing to lose, and Chad started arranging things. I decided to stay home for a while first. As much as I hated being alone all the time I didn’t think it’d be a good idea to leave just yet. Besides, my brother and my friends were coming to visit any day now. I wasn’t particularly excited about seeing Ian again, but I couldn’t avoid him forever.

Ian’s POV:

I was sitting on the couch in the bus and staring out the window as we drove down a dirt road. We had just played a show in Winnipeg and now we were on our way to visit Jordan. Josh and Mike were really excited and Matt just laughed at their enthusiasm as they danced around the bus. I was terribly worried about how this was going to go. I hadn’t seen Jordan in a while and I still felt really bad about how I had treated her when I had gotten drunk that one night. I just hoped she had forgiven me by now.  
I sighed and lay down on the sofa. The bruise on my face had not quite healed yet and was a slowly fading yellow. A lot of the fans had asked what had happened and Josh and I had joked about getting into a fight and roughing each other up, even though I was the only one being roughed up. I had deserved it though and Jordan had every right to be upset with me after all this.  
We slowly drove down a long driveway that I assumed was Jordan’s. There was a cute little farm house with a barn and some equipment and stuff nearby. I saw Jordan sitting on the porch stairs with a big, fluffy, orange cat on her lap. She smiled and waved when she saw us pulling up. I felt a tug at my heartstrings as I remembered all the feelings that I still had for her. Nat parked the bus and we all stood up. I was nervous as hell and my hands were incredibly sweaty. I had never been so scared in my life.


	10. Chapter 10

Jordan’s POV:

I watched the tour bus, which looked ever so familiar, drive up to my house and park in an empty space nearby. I was incredibly nervous about seeing Ian again, but despite that I was still really excited to see my brother and his friends. Josh leaped out of the RV first, followed closely by Mike and Matt wasn’t far behind him and then a little while later Ian emerged from the vehicle. I let my cat run off to hide under the porch. He didn’t like strangers. Josh charged up to me, threw me over his shoulder and pranced around in front of my house.

I laughed. “What the fuck?”

The second Josh put me down I was suddenly heaved into the air again and Mike imitated Josh. I sighed and Mike put me back on my feet. Matt walked up to me and gave me a big hug, something he had never done before then. I was a bit surprised. I smiled at the guys and Josh gave me another hug.

He ruffled my hair. “I’ve missed you, kid.”

Nat appeared out of nowhere and waved at me. I waved back.

“I’ve missed you guys too,” I smiled at them.

Ian seemed to be hanging back a bit.

“You guys can go inside and make yourselves at home. I’ve got some ginger snaps on the counter. Help yourselves. My dad’s not home right now though,” I gestured toward the door.

The guys ran inside quickly and I followed behind. Ian wasn’t far behind me and by the time I had gotten into the kitchen Josh, Ian, Mike, Matt and Nat had already found the cookies and were digging in. I sat down at the table after pulling out the milk. The guys and I all sat in my dining room, catching up and talking about absolutely nothing in particular.

Once we had all eaten our fill of the cookies, which was all of them, I offered to take them on a little tour of the yard. I showed them the house first. Ian seemed to be hanging back shyly and the look on his face told me he was thinking about something. Once I had showed them all around the house I took them outside. It was still fairly warm out so we didn’t have to worry about jackets and stuff. I showed them the barn and introduced them to Lucy. She was a little wary of these strange people, but after they fed her some treats she was happy to meet them. Josh took quite the liking to Jasper and carried him around everywhere. The strange part was that Jasper gladly let Josh take him around the yard. He usually wasn’t like that, but hey, it was Josh.

After I showed them around we went back inside where we soon started playing video games. Mike had seen that I had Just Dance and challenged Josh to a dance off. Josh’s moves were far from adequate. He failed miserably and Mike danced like a pro. I wasn’t even any good at that game and I had been playing it an awful lot for the while that I had been home.

After playing video games for a while we sat down in my living room and started talking.

“Hey, did Chad tell you guys about the band he’s setting me up with?” I remembered.

“What?! No! I thought he was going to call me about this kind of stuff!” Josh shouted.

“Yup, I’ll be flying out to Vancouver in a couple days to go meet them and get settled in. I’ve got an apartment out there now.”

“That’s awesome!” Mike shouted.

“Do you know what the band is called?” Matt inquired.

“Yeah, it’s called A Thousand Disadvantages,” I recalled the name Chad had told me.

“Oh, I saw those guys just before you showed up at my house a while ago! They were having issues with their singer so I guess they kicked him out,” Josh nodded.

“Him? Why would they want a female singer after having a guy?” I was a little curious.

“I guess they wanted a different sound. Maybe they didn’t like the way things were before,” Mike suggested.

“Yeah, probably. I actually have their demo in the bus. Should I go get it?” Josh mentioned.

“Yes! I wanna hear this!” I got excited and started jumping around.

“Okay, I’ll go get it!” Josh leaped off of the floor where he was seated and ran out the door, to the bus.

He came back moments later, breathing heavily and holding a CD case. He handed it to me and collapsed on the ground.

“Out of shape much?” I snickered.

The others laughed and Josh just scoffed sarcastically at me.

Ian’s POV:

Jordan had giggled at her brother and I melted. I had missed that laugh. She placed the CD into the sound system she had sitting around the television and pressed play. First the drums boomed through the massive speakers then shortly thereafter you could hear a rough bass line. A few more seconds later the guitarist slammed in with some hard chords. A melodic voice chimed in and he sang loudly. The lyrics sounded alright, but could have used some work. Once the song had died down Jordan pressed the stop button so the next song wouldn’t start up right away. She pulled the disk out and handed it back to Josh.

“Keep it.”

She smiled. “I can’t believe I get to work with these guys!”

“They’re good, but I think you’ll bring something to the table that they don’t have. They can write a melody pretty well, but the lines…” Josh broke off.

“Yeah, I noticed, and I may or may not have a way to fix that,” she smiled mischievously.

Josh chuckled and ruffled his sister’s hair. “Yeah, I kinda figured you would.”

It had started getting a bit dark outside. It didn’t seem like we had been there that long.

Jordan whipped out her phone and held it in the air. “What kind of pizza do you guys like?”

***

Jordan had gone to pick up the pizza she had ordered and left us at her house. Matt and Mike were playing video games and Josh and I were talking a bit.

“So…how are you doing with all this?” he asked me. 

“I hadn’t realized how much I’ve missed her. I feel like such a douche.”

“Maybe you should talk to her. She seems like she misses you too. I saw the way she looked at you earlier. She seemed worried about you.”

I looked up at my friend. “You think that’s a good idea?”

“Look man, I’m sorry for clocking you, even if you deserved it, but she really likes you and I know you like her too and I really don’t like seeing you two like this. You both deserve to be happy,” he put his hand on my shoulder reassuringly.

I nodded. “I’ll talk to her when she gets back. I can’t believe we haven’t spoken to each other since that night,” I shuddered.

Josh and I both heard a vehicle drive up. It was a bit difficult to hear it over Matt and Mike’s shouting, but we heard it nonetheless. We both looked at each other, got up and ran to the door. Josh went out before me and grabbed the pizzas from Jordan before she was barely out of her truck. He spun around and quickly ran inside, food in hand.

Jordan’s POV:

 

“Uh, Jordan…” Ian stepped outside the door stopped me before I went into the house. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

I looked inside the house and saw Josh looking through the kitchen window. He soon lost interest and turned his attention back to the food I had brought home. I spun back toward Ian and nodded. “What is it you want to talk about?”

He sat down on the porch steps and patted the spot beside him for me to sit down. I did and he sighed.

“I really am sorry. I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was saying. No, you know what, that’s a horrible excuse. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you. I feel awful. I can barely sleep thinking about it. I’ve missed you so fucking much since you left the tour. I hadn’t realized how much I really do care for you and I was just scared and worried about what might happen and…Jordan?”

Tears were tumbling down my face already as I tried to absorb what Ian was telling me. “Yes?” I answered him.

“I love you.”

I covered my face with my hands and the tears kept coming. Ian held me in his arms and let me cry into his chest. I don’t know why I felt such intense emotions when he said that, but I was only half crying because I was sad. I was sad because I had pushed him away like that and I felt awful about it and I had let that one thing get in between us, but at the same time I was relieved. I was calmed by the fact that he was sorry and that he wanted to keep trying with this relationship and he really did love me.

After I had stopped crying we just sat there, holding each other and cuddling. “I love you too, Ian,” I whispered to him.

“I’ve missed you; that smile, those eyes, the way your hair smells, how you love to snuggle beside me, the way you’d slap my hand away when I tried to touch your ass,” he chuckled at the last one.

“Ian, I’m sorry I left,” I sobbed. “I was just scared and I knew everything would be super awkward and I saw how it tore you and the guys apart and I couldn’t deal with knowing I did that.”

“You didn’t do anything. Please don’t say that. Everything is going to be fine. The guys and I are okay. Josh and I talked about it and we’re okay now.”

I wiped my eyes. “I didn’t fuck things up?”

He laughed. “No, you didn’t.” He kissed my forehead and wiped my tears away, as I had done a poor job. “C’mon, let’s go inside.”

Ian stood up and held out his hand for me. I took it and he heaved me back onto my feet. We walked inside, hand in hand, and entered the kitchen, where we were greeted with a round of applause. The guys had been watching inconspicuously through the window and heard every word that was said. I blushed and Ian just shouted at them, playfully.

“Guys, fuck off!”

Everybody laughed and I just plopped myself down at the table and grabbed some pizza, throwing it on my plate.

***

“Bye, dad,” my dad hugged me tighter than he’d ever hugged me as I stood on the porch with most of my belongings.

I was moving to the apartment in Vancouver Chad had set up for me and the guys had agreed to take me back to Vancouver on their tour bus on their way back home. My dad was almost crying and I felt awful for leaving him here, all alone, but I just couldn’t stay forever. I had to get on with my own life and get my career started.

“Promise you’ll come visit your old man once in a while, kay?” he wiped a tear from his face.

“Of course, and you can come visit me whenever you want to.”

“We gotta go, Jordan,” Mike shouted from the RV. “We just packed the last of your things into the bus.”

“I’ll see you later, daddy!” I waved to him as I climbed back into the tour bus that I had spent all that time on months ago.

He waved to me as we drove down the driveway and then as we drove down the gravel rode I watched as my little farm disappeared into the distance. I was going to miss it dearly, but I had to leave at some point.

***

A few provinces later I was sitting on the couch, curled into Ian’s side, watching Mike and Josh argue about something completely irrelevant and I suddenly got a call on my phone. Everybody went silent after I pulled it out of my pocket and shouted that it was one of the guys from my new band.

I answered my phone and a loud, coarse voice greeted me. “Hey! Is this Jordan?”

“Um, yes. Who is this exactly?” I asked the man.

“Malcolm, the guitarist from A Thousand Disadvantages. Chad told me we had to wait till you got here to talk to you, but I begged him for your number cause I wanted to talk to our new singer!” he sounded rather eager.

I laughed. “Um, okay well I’m on my way right now. We should be there within the next few hours.”

“Great! Chad also gave me the address for your apartment so how about we meet you there? The guys are all really excited to see you!”

“Sure! Sounds awesome! That means you guys can help me move in,” I smirked and wished he could have seen it.

Malcolm chuckled at what I had said. “We’d love to.”

“Alright, see you later.”

“Bye,” and he hung up.

It wasn’t much longer and we had arrived in Vancouver. I gave Nat my new address and he successfully navigated his way through the city on his own after promptly cursing at his GPS system. As we pulled up to the building I sat and started at the gorgeous architecture of my new home.

Nat drove up to the front doors and I saw four guys hanging around the doors. One of them was skateboarding around, another was shouting at him to sit down and relax and the other two were lying on the pavement, staring at the sky. The one skateboarding had short, dirty blonde hair, cargo shorts and a shirt with black, three quarter length sleeves. The guy who was shouting at him had long, black hair and baggy clothing. The other two appeared to be twins and they both had brown hair although one of them wore it long and straight and the other had it cut to more of a short, shaggy style. They both wore average looking clothing.

When the guys and I shot out of the RV the guys all jumped up and ran over to me. The one with the short, blonde hair bear hugged me like Mike always did.

“Hi! I’m Malcolm!” he said happily.

“Haha, yeah I figured,” I smiled at the boy as he leapt around.

Malcolm tripped on his skateboard and fell flat on his ass. The twins laughed at him and the other guy just facepalmed.

“I’m Dirk,” the boy with the long hair held out his hand for me to shake after everybody had calmed down from Malcolm’s fall.

I took his hand and smiled at him.

The twins came up to me and hugged me at the same time.

“I’m Andy,” the twin that had his face buried in my shoulder mumbled.

“And I’m Jake,” said the other.

Andy was slightly shorter than Jake.

“C’mon guys, let’s get this shit into the apartment,” Josh shouted from the open bus door.

“Hey, my stuff is not shit!” I yelled back.

He waved his hand dismissively. “Whatever.”

Jake handed me multiple keys. “Chad asked me to give this to you when you got here.”

Two of the keys were identical house keys, but the other two appeared to be car keys. I held those two up and waved them around a bit. “What are these ones for?”

“Oh, your car,” Andy said, sitting down on the sidewalk.

“Car? What?”

“Oh, right we forgot to tell you.” Mike said from behind me. “Chad bought you a car.”

“He did what?! Why?” I exclaimed.

“Everybody needs to go places and a lot of people already know about you because of us. You’ll get recognized a lot, especially here. You can’t take the bus or the subway,” Josh said, walking to the door with a couple boxes in his arms.

I unlocked the door for him and Malcolm held the door open for the rest of us as we started bringing things into the building. I walked in front of Josh up the stairs and down the hall and when I finally reached my apartment, number 301 at the end of the hall, I unlocked the door, swung it open, stepped inside and took in the smell of the place and looked out the windows and saw the lovely view of the city.

“I am just going to put this right here,” Josh carefully put the boxes down in the middle of the living room.

The apartment was already partially furnished. Chad had taken quite the liking to me and I was grateful that he was just giving me all these things. I guess he figured I’d go far and make the company a lot of money. I chuckled at the thought.

Once all my things had been brought into my new home the guys in my new band took me to the underground parking lot where my shiny, new car was parked. It was a lovely blue coloured Audi A3. I was surprised that Chad had gone for such an expensive car. It was terribly cute though. I smiled and bounced around it, peeking into the windows and checking everything out.

“Okay, okay, well we’ve got to go. We have stuff to do tonight. See you tomorrow, Jordan,” I wasn’t sure who spoke because I was too concentrated on my car, but when I turned around they all waved goodbye.

“Bye guys!” I waved back.

“We need to go too,” Mike said, looking at Josh.

“Yup. I miss my cats.”

We laughed at Josh and he just stared back with a straight face.

“I’m serious!” he threw his hands in the air. “I miss my babies!”

“Alright, well goodnight guys,” I smiled and waved.

“Uh, actually I was wondering if I could spend some time with you for a bit before going home. You don’t mind, do you?” Ian stepped toward me as the others started leaving.

“Sure! We haven’t spent some time alone for…we’ve never spent time alone.”

“How you getting home later, man?” Matt asked.

“I’ll call a cab. It’ll be fine. You guys go on home,” he waved them away.

The guys left and Ian and I went back up to my box filled apartment. I plopped myself down on my new, black sectional couch and Ian sprawled himself out beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and I curled into his side. I let out a deep breath and stared up at this wonderful man that held me in his arms.

“I love you, Jordan, so much.”

I smiled hugely. “I love you too.”

He kissed me once last time and we fell asleep in each other’s arms, on my new couch, in my new apartment, in my new city, with my new life.

Two years later…

Ian’s POV:

“Josh, turn on the fucking TV! Much Music!” I yelled as I ran into my friends’ apartment.

Mike was sitting on the couch with Tux and Josh was lying on the floor with Anemonie lying on his chest for some reason. I shook my head, sat down on the couch and stole the remote from Mike.

“Hey!” he protested as I changed the channel.

“I didn’t know that was today!” Josh said.

“I called you yesterday and reminded you, smart ass,” I smirked at him.

“Why don’t I remember any of this?” he mumbled and sat down on the other side of me, still holding his precious calico.

New Music Live had just started and the VJ, Phoebe, stood in the center of a crowd of people and when they realized that they were live they all started screaming.

“Hey everybody and welcome to NML!” she shouted over the yelling. “Today we’ve got five very special guests here with us and I’m sure you all know who they are, right?” Phoebe turned to the hoard of people and questioned them.

 

The screaming got louder and the crowd kept getting more excited. I was on the edge of my seat. I was even excited.

“Alright, let’s bring em out! A Thousand Disadvantages!”

The mass of people shrieked even louder now. Now all three of us were sitting on the very edge of the couch and Matt had come bursting through the door and stood behind the couch, leaning forward in anticipation.

First the twins came running out then Dirk and Malcolm skipped out and into the view of the camera. Then there was silence. Jordan was nowhere to be found. I was confused and tilted my head to the side at the television.

“Hey, buttface!” Jake yelled into his mic.

“Shut your mouth!” Jordan’s voice came on, but we still couldn’t see her.

When the fans heard her voice they yet again screamed louder than ever. She suddenly came prancing out from backstage and met her band mates. Once the guys had sat down on the provided bench Jordan leaped around a little bit, gave Phoebe a hug and sat down in the last available spot.

I squirmed in my seat at the excitement of seeing my girl on TV.

The VJ proceeded to ask the band random questions on recording and stuff and when their next album might be ready. I already knew the answers to most of these questions, though.

“So Jordan,” Phoebe turned to her. “Everybody wants to know…” I knew what she was going to ask her. “You and Ian Casselman. Any news? Anything you wanna tell us, maybe?”

She laughed. Oh how I miss that laugh right now when she’s on the other side of the country. “Well, we’ve been dating for about two and a half years by now and even though Ian has his own place, he seems to think my apartment is where he lives. I swear half my closet is filled with his stuff. I don’t even know where it all comes from. It’s like he brings it over when I’m not home.”

I scoffed. “I don’t have that much stuff there.”

“And Ian, I know you’re watching right now,” she pointed at the camera. “and I know you’re thinking that’s not true, but last time I checked, you had more stuff in my house than I do.”

Phoebe giggled. “Okay, well what’s it like touring with all these guys and do you think Ian gets jealous?”

“Touring with these guys…well it’s like a couple years ago before I was in this band. I was on tour for a while with Marianas Trench and that’s how the whole ‘me and Ian’ thing started. It’s not so different from that. I did grow up with just my dad too so I’m not really used to living with other females anyway,” she laughed.

The interview lasted about half the show. They ended up playing a game with the audience. They’d ask the audience questions about the band and whoever got them right would win merch packages or something. The questions all seemed rather comical and amusing.

At the end of the interview, Jake was talking to Phoebe and the others just sat, making faces at the camera. The four of us all laughed and giggled at the dumb faces they made. Just as the interview was coming to a close and the show was going to be over, Jordan looked at the camera, made a heart shape with her hands and mouthed the words “I love you, Ian,” to the camera. I smiled and Mike and Josh both nudged me with their elbows and matt ruffled my hair.

I pulled out my phone and texted her an “I love you too,” so that she knew I had seen it.

“Gonna go creep on the fans on Facebook now, Ian?” Mike turned to me.

I laughed. “Yeah, I wanna see what they have to say.”

“We’ll be on twitter then. I’m curious too,” Matt said quietly.

I went on Facebook on my laptop and signed into my alias account. I went into the “Twitter Trench Fam” group and read some of the posts the others had made. They had no idea who I was. They just thought I was another fan. At one time they had suspected that I was in fact in the group under an alias, but they never did figure it out.

One girl had posted “Okay, not gonna lie, Andy and Jake from A Thousand Disadvantages are adorable.”

Some others had responded with things like “OMG I KNOW!!!” or “I want to marry them. They are mine ._.”

I’m sure the boys would be thoroughly creeped out to see what these girls were saying. I saw one post a little farther down the page that said “Jordan is so cute! Did you see her little message to Ian at the end?”

I smiled and read the comments.

“They are so perfect together. I saw them at a mall once. They could not get any cuter.”

“Every time you see them somewhere together like in pictures or whatever, they’re always holding hands and looking at each other cutely.”

“OMG I KNOW!!!” One particular person seemed to respond constantly with that.

I decided to leave a comment myself. I simply typed, “Do you guys all have the same schedule and watch all the same programs on TV and then talk about them here all the time?”

Somebody responded with “Pretty much XD”

“No, only if it has something to do with Trench and Jordan always has something to do with Trench thus so does A Thousand Disadvantages. Plus most of us like their band anyway.”

“Interesting…” I said. 

“How so?”

“Just is. A lot of you people in this group just seem so…synchronized XD”

“Haha I guess we are sometimes.”

I turned my computer back on just in time to see a text from Jordan. It was just a little smile. I sent her one back. We seemed to be like that annoying couple sometimes that sends pointless texts back and forth, but we didn’t care.

“People on Twitter love A Thousand Disadvantages. I think Andy’s on the band twitter right now, responding to some fans,” Mike shouted.

“Tell him some girls on Facebook have proposed to him,” I yelled back across the room.

Mike laughed.

Josh giggled loudly, falling out of his seat at the dining table and lying on the floor. We all started laughing at the fact that he had literally started rolling on the floor, laughing.

“What?!” I asked him, quickly getting up and looking at his computer screen.

He just pointed at the computer and continued to laugh and by this point he had stopped making noise and was just clapping his hands “like a retarded seal” as many people on the internet say.

I read the two tweets that were at the top of the page. The first one was a fan talking to Jordan. He asked “Jordan, have my babies!”

She responded with, “Babies……scare the fuck out of me.”

Once Josh had calmed down enough, he started talking. “Like brother, like sister,” he beamed.

“That wasn’t that funny, but alright,” Matt chuckled.

Josh’s home phone started ringing and he was still sitting on the floor, his cats now crawling all over him, begging for attention. He leapt up and ran to the phone, Tux and Anemonie trailing closely behind him. He picked it up and spoke the little bit of French he actually knew, which translated to “Hello, I like cats.”

The rest of us just stood around, waiting to see who had called and what for.

He hung up and smiled hugely at me. “Jordan’s coming home tonight. That was Malcolm to let us know they were getting on the plane soon.

I did a little dance, picked up the nearest feline to my location, which happened to be Tux, and danced around with the little guy.

“Dashing!” Mike struck an elegant pose.

We laughed and I still had the cat in my arms. He purred and cuddled into me. I scratched his furry, little head and put him down on the floor.

***

I paced anxiously around the airport as we waited for my girlfriend and her band-mates to arrive. The others were all sitting down patiently on a bench, but I couldn’t sit still for a moment.

“Ian, relax. She’ll be here soon enough. You need to stop being so tense and uptight,” Josh said calmly from his seat.

“I can’t help it. I haven’t seen her in so long. I miss her so fucking much!”

“Ian!” I heard a girl scream from the other side of the airport.

I twirled around and saw Jordan, hair bouncing around her face, running at me, arms out. I smiled bigger than I ever had before and scooped the girl up, spinning her in circles with me. I hugged her tightly and she snugly curled her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek before burying her face between my shoulder and my neck.

“I missed you,” I kissed the top of her head gently and rubbed her back.

“I missed you too. I’m so glad I’m back here with you.”

“Aw, does Joshy get a hug too?” my friend’s voice rang out behind me.

“Okay!” Andy ran over and gave Josh a big hug.

Josh smiled sarcastically and hugged him back. Everybody laughed a bit and then Jordan went to give her brother and the other guys hugs too.

“So, now everybody’s here. Why don’t we go back to my place and have us a lovely movie night thing with snacks and shit?” Josh clapped his hands together excitedly.

Everybody seemed rather happy with this plan and we all went to Josh and Mike’s apartment. Once there, we all agreed on a movie after a twenty minute argument about action movies vs. horror movies. We weren’t very far into the movie and Jordan had already fallen asleep in my arms. I cuddled in closer to her and closed my eyes. This is how it should be. I hope we can stay like this for a long time. I never want this to end. Soon, I too was asleep and everything in life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, done. Nobody freak out if you've read this before. It's also on my fanfiction account :P Although nowhere else. If you see this story somewhere else, please let me know. I do not appreciate plagiarizers.


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